Don't Say A Word
by PsychicDreams
Summary: When the parents are away, the children will play. Unfortunately, sometimes that play becomes something terrible and leaves behind indelible scars.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**  
_Monday, the 13th 11:23 pm_

Rikuou carefully laid down the wet cloths over the angry and ugly welts that were crisscrossing Kazahaya's back in splashes of nasty red. Thankfully they had stopped bleeding some time ago, but even if there had been much left of the boy's shirt, it would have been too soaked and stained by the blood to have been much use any longer.

Kazahaya hissed, long and hard, through his teeth when the light strips of cloth touched his back. He could already see his partner's shoulder muscles tightening up automatically and he tapped the boy lightly on the back of his head.

"Hey, don't do that. It'll just hurt worse."

There was no response, but then again, Rikuou didn't expect one either. The tension was forced from those muscles and he wondered if it was because the pain had abated yet or if it was just from sheer will. He sighed and stood gently from the edge of the bed to go to the kitchen. He dumped the bowl that he'd brought from the bedside table to pour the dirty, bloody water into the sink and watched as it swirled in the drain.

So much blood. He'd seen far too much blood in his time and yet no matter what he did, it seemed like it wanted to follow him to remind him of all that he'd lost. Anger slashed through him as remembered what had happened to Kazahaya and he wasn't sure which he was angrier at: those that had done it to him or the boy himself. How many times had he warned him to be careful and above all, _pay attention_.

Despite it being muffled, he still heard the groan from the bedroom. In the complete silence in the apartment, devoid of almost any sound, it would be impossible for Rikuou to _not_ hear it.

_And of course, this just has to happen when Kakei and Saiga are off in the ozone somewhere and I can't get in touch with them._

He carried a fresh bowl of water and new strips of bandages back to the room and closed the window without a word. Winter was gradually losing its hold, but at night it still got pretty cold. The curtains stopped their faint fluttering and the apartment became as still as it had been before. No sound except their breathing; no movement except the single two occupants.

"You really are an idiot," he muttered, knowing that Kazahaya would hear, but what else was he supposed to do? He had an overwhelming amount of anger, but could only let it out in little snippets of irritation, otherwise Kazahaya would get lively and open his wounds.

"You have no common sense, I swear." He flicked on the bedside light, but it only illuminated the dried tear tracks on Kazahaya's cheeks. His fist clenched at his side and then after a minute, he knelt on the floor next to his partner's head. Normally Kazahaya was very loud, even injured, but now he was being suspiciously silent. Those eyes were closed and he wondered if the other boy were asleep.

But then those eyes twitched behind closed lids and he knew that he wasn't. Sighing, he gently dipped a cloth in the water and softly ran it across that one displayed cheek to wipe away the evidence of the fact that Kazahaya had been sobbing in pain a few hours earlier.

Rikuou figured that Kazahaya was cold, laying on his stomach on the bed for so long, but also knew that even if he covered the other boy with as light a blanket or shirt as he could find would only make the other boy feel more pain, so he figured that it was probably best to be cold.

"You're not asleep, so stop pretending to be," he murmured. Honestly, there was a very tense atmosphere in the apartment and he knew why, but they had also had an unspoken agreement never to talk about _that_. It was somewhat of a relief to treat Kazahaya's wounds because it gave him something else to think about.

One light brown eye swiveled open and it still looked bloodshot from the tears that Kazahaya had shed. It was wary, pained, and tired and Rikuou sighed. It wasn't as if Kazahaya had asked to be whipped nearly to death, but that didn't help the fact that he was conflicted with overprotection and anger toward him anyway.

"You want to tell me what possessed you to go in there _by yourself_ without waiting for me?"

That eye only closed again on him and when no sound issued forth, he figured that he wasn't going to get an answer. Whether he'd ever receive one, he didn't know. In the end, Rikuou ended up sitting on the floor next to Kazahaya's bed all night long and didn't get a wink of sleep. 


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**  
_Tuesday, the 14th 9:00 am_

_"There is a group of twelve people that make up what you might call of a 'circle' in the supernatural world. Their real names are unknown, but they use the zodiac in replacement of that. They are very, very powerful and normally are scattered all across the globe. However, an urgent matter has brought them all together in Japan for a few days."_

Kakei's words didn't bring the hint of alarm that Kazahaya should have felt. Perhaps he was unable to truly understand the ramifications of such powerful people all gathering in the same place could never be good. All he really cared about at the particular moment was this was a job that the storeowner had for him and Rikuou. He wasn't pleased with the idea of working with his partner yet again, since their reward money would be split, but the sheer **amount** that he would be getting more than made up for that.

"You will be meeting eleven of the twelve zodiac during this job."

"Why only eleven?"

Naturally Rikuou was suspicious, which didn't quite fit with his too accepting partner. Kakei turned to the taller of the errand boys. "The twelfth member of the zodiac lives in Japan, but she is rather reclusive for one, and for another, not many can reach her. And she has shown no interest in the problem that has begun among the other Zodiac members, so there is no need to contact her."

"Which Zodiac is she?"

Kakei smiled at some hidden thought. "Aries."

Kazahaya's eyes snapped open, his dream fading away back into his subconscious as the memory it should be. Five days ago, Kakei had popped a job on them and told them to do it and then informed them he would be out of town for a while. The boy hadn't realized just how reassuring the older man's presence and his ability was until it was no longer there to rely on.

He cleared his dry throat and braced himself up on his elbows, hissing in pain. But it brought no Rikuou and after a minute of listening, he figured that his roommate must be downstairs, manning the store. Regardless of their conditions, keeping up with the store had been a must and Kakei was not someone to cross.

It took all the willpower he had to just manage to sit up on the edge of the bed and he ended up slouching over his knees anyway, since it hurt so bad to straighten his back. What did he want to do? What _could_ he do in this condition?

All in all, part of him was glad that Rikuou wasn't there, since he knew that the taller boy would ask him why he didn't wait. And despite their silent agreement never to talk about _that_, he could tell Rikuou wanted to. Probably the other boy was full of questions about it, but Kazahaya had no wish to explain himself.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Speak of the devil…He lifted his pain-filled hazel eyes to look at the doorway to the bedroom, where Rikuou was filling most expansively. It was like a single thought of him had summoned him. He was thankful though that when he groaned, it could have been taken for the pain in his back rather than the consternation of Rikuou's presence.

It was not that he didn't appreciate his partner, but—

"What are you doing up here? What about the shop?"

"I take breaks to come up here and change your bandages. If Kakei doesn't like it, he can deal with it when it happens."

Bandages? Kazahaya craned his head around to look at his back before he could stop and his pain nerves, alive and perfectly well, bombarded him with sensations and orders that he was _never_ to do that again. He was more than happy to comply and just hung his head in front of him again. He'd only seen a swath of white before, but right then he was only seeing spots of various colors on his eyes from the pain.

"You really are an idiot." Rikuou's dry voice assaulted his ears and Kazahaya managed to lift his head, albeit painfully, to glare in a tired way at his partner. Rikuou seemed fantastically unaffected by it and moved to the nightstand to parcel out some pills, which he handed to him.

"What's this?" he muttered, not taking them right away.

"Pain killers. Taking you to the hospital, I would think, would be a bad idea, considering the situation."

That was true. In the hazy memories of the night before, he distinctly remembered hearing sirens bearing down on them and a few faint shouts. "What happened?"

"Police and they happened to spot us. I don't think they saw us clearly, but considering that I was practically dragging you away and you looked like you were about to die on me, I figure they've put out an alert in all the hospitals and doctor's offices. The other Zodiac members won't step in to either help or hinder us, so we're stuck. Now take the pills or I make you take them."

That was the Rikuou he knew, but even after all that he'd probably slept the night before, he was still tired. His limbs felt like they had lead weights on them and they shook a little as he lifted his hand to take the two pills, probably taken from the drug store down below. Had Rikuou raided Kakei's hidden stash of medicine and bandages?

"You're killing me here," Rikuou muttered when it took too long for the other boy's peace of mind and snatched back the pills. Kazahaya blinked, only to realize that within seconds, Rikuou had tilted his head up. "Open your mouth."

Normally, he'd be stubborn, but he was just too tired out, mostly mentally and emotionally, to put up much of a fight. Rikuou dropped them on his tongue and then lifted a glass of water that he hadn't noticed from the bedside table. In fact, the bedside table looked like it was a small pharmacy.

Kazahaya nearly choked at the awkward angle and ended up having rivulets of water run down his chin, but he did get the pills swallowed. He coughed for several minutes later and wiped his mouth under Rikuou's stare and felt even worse, since it was Rikuou watching him. His partner had never cut him any slack for anything he'd done and he was waiting for the inevitable lecture and rant that he knew would be coming.

"Lay back down on your stomach and go to sleep. In a while, I'll make you some food and we can see if you can keep that down. For now, I have to get back to the shop."

"Huh?"

"When I offered you food last night, you brought it straight back up. I'm not eager to repeat that performance, thank you." The words were derisive, but there was a look in Rikuou's eyes that testified to a concern that the other boy was no doubt trying to hide.

It would have made him smile, if it hadn't reminded him of _that_. Instead, he only did as told and went back to sleep. He faintly heard the door click and knew the apartment was empty of all but himself right then.

Rikuou wondered just how much Kazahaya remembered of the night before. Probably not a lot, if he didn't remember the police and the burned down building. Whether they would have been arrested, or whether they would have only been questioned about the burning building and what they'd been doing there, he didn't know. Kakei had made it clear that they were not at all to get involved with the police. Especially since that Virgo member had told him clearly they would not help him in any way if the police caught them.

And he'd always thought that Virgo's were likeable and nice, but he disliked that icy cold and ruthless woman.

It was hard to keep the store by himself, both stocking and manning the register, but he did it. One of the schoolgirls that often came to ogle at him commented that he looked terrible, but he merely shrugged. Well, doing too many things at once and not having any sleep the night before and having to take care of Kazahaya on top of that wasn't exactly conducive to his health.

He was tempted to really let Kakei have it when he and Saiga returned, since he hadn't even warned him that that Zodiac member had been _nuts_. All they'd been paid to do was find out which Zodiac member was creating havoc for the group so that the other members could deal with it.

They _hadn't_ been told that the Capricorn member, causing all the trouble, had been insane. His fist clenched in anger again and he would have smashed it into something again to relieve his frustrations if there weren't people in the store. He didn't know what the group was going to do with the man, but he dearly hoped it was something terrible. For all his toughness on Kazahaya, he _did_ like his roommate. And Kazahaya depended on him to a frightening degree. He _believed_ in him, relied on him, to save him when things got tough. It was a terrible feeling, knowing you'd let someone down who counted on you to be the protective rock of his world.

_Kakei is gonna get it if he sent us in there knowing that this was going to happen…_

Once he'd herded the last of the schoolgirls out of the shop, he closed it for the day. He didn't care if he was closing early. Kazahaya would no doubt need his help for just about everything and he didn't like leaving the other boy to his own devices when he was that injured.

But Kazahaya was still asleep when he reached their apartment. He touched that soft hair with a sigh and remembered his fear the night before. Whether he wanted to admit it, Kazahaya had become important to him. The only one important to him after Tsukiko disappeared. He'd let no one come close to him, but Kazahaya had metaphorically stuck to him like a burr and had somehow managed to bury past all his defenses.

Well, it was time to change the bandages. No doubt the pain would wake up Kazahaya, but he feared if he didn't put on fresh ones, the soiled ones now would only make the wounds worse or infected. After all, he was not a doctor.

Indeed, he didn't get very far in even taking them off before Kazahaya was awake and clenching his teeth in pain. He was rather glad that Kazahaya couldn't see his back, because no doubt he'd freak over it. Rikuou tossed the old bandages in the trash and detoured to the kitchen to fill up a bowl of lukewarm water to wash Kazahaya's back yet again. It killed him to know that probably for the rest of his life, his roommate would have to bear terrible scars.

That soft skin, marred so terribly…

Rikuou shook the thought away and went back to the bedroom, sitting gently on the edge of the bed next to Kazahaya's hip. Those hazel eyes were dull with pain and he looked as if he was staring at something far, far away. He frowned, but couldn't blame the poor boy.

Even after he'd begun wiping off the excess sweat from the wounds, they still didn't look very good, but they also didn't look infected. Kazahaya was very lucky that that insane tyrant of a man hadn't use a whip that had sharp edges, like glass, on it, or he would have had no choice but to bring him to a hospital, it would have been that bad.

"Hey…"

The taller boy lifted his head a little when the soft, soft whisper grabbed his attention. "What?" He dipped the cloth back in the water and wrung it out, only to continue washing despite the hisses of pain from Kazahaya.

"I don't…really remember…last night."

"So?"

"So…did we finish the job? Will we…get paid?"

Rikuou's hand shook a little in a surge of anger and it took all he had to not burst a blood vessel. "Kazahaya. You were whipped to within an inch of your life and you're asking if you're going to get _paid_? Is money all you care about?!"

"Of course not," Kazahaya breathily retorted. "But…there has to be something good that came…out of it, right? Money is good…"

"Your _life_ is better," he muttered and that ended the discussion. He honestly wished sometimes he had some telepathic ability just so he could see what stupid thoughts went on in Kazahaya's head. Honestly! Kazahaya feared death more than anyone, especially how he'd stubbornly clung to life a year ago, but how he could have calmly gone in there and came out not even thinking about that…What _had_ Kazahaya been thinking about?!

What had possessed him to go in there _alone_?!

The thought spun around in his head all the while he finished changing Kazahaya's bandages. 


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**  
_Tuesday the 14th 5:22 pm_

Kazahaya tried his best not to dream in the times he slept. If he didn't know better, since he slept so much, he would begin to wonder if Rikuou wasn't feeding him sleeping drugs or something. It was also embarrassing to admit that Rikuou had closed the store only an hour ago because of him and had to help him with _everything_, including helping him walk to the bathroom for the necessaries.

Currently, he was contemplating his partner from his bed and watching as the other boy, sitting in a chair in his room, read a book. What he was stuck to his side for, he didn't have a clue. It's not like Rikuou wouldn't be able to hear him if he hollered for his help.

"I realize that by society's standards I _am_ a stud," the boy said dryly, finally, after half an hour, "but either go to sleep or tell me if you want something. Just staring at me without saying anything, especially since you're a motor mouth, creeps me out."

He gritted his teeth and firmly reminded himself that it would only make his injuries worse if he got upset and tried to strangle Rikuou. "Look, you…don't you think I can do _something_ by myself?"

"No."

Kazahaya suppressed a growl. "My legs aren't broken, you know."

"They will be if you try doing anything when I'm not here."

One of these days, he was _really_ going to pay Rikuou back for every snippy comment he ever made, he promised himself. He turned his head and contemplated the wall briefly before going back to stare at his roommate. It apparently got to Rikuou finally because for the first time, the other boy lifted his head.

"What did I tell you about staring?"

"I'm bored. I'm stuck like this, since you won't let me even twitch without your stupid permission, and if I _have_ to stare at something, it's more fun to watch you squirm than it is the wall."

"I'm not squirming."

"But you don't like it."

"No, I don't like it."

Kazahaya gave a smirk and his gaze became even more intent and challenging as their eyes met. After a minute, Rikuou looked away and went back to his book. It surprised Kazahaya, since usually his terrible partner never backed down like that. He frowned. Something was bothering the big jerk, obviously.

"Hey."

"What now?"

"Are you all right?"

"Should the one who is unable to straighten his back really be asking me that?"

"_Asshole!_ Who the hell do you think I got these wounds for, anyway?!"

Rikuou's head snapped up so quickly that he could have sworn he heard the boy's neck crack. The intent stare at him, the sharpness of it, told him he had walked right into a minefield. The green gaze was almost harsh, and with a snap, the book was closed with such finality that he knew there was no getting out of it.

"What did you say?"

Kazahaya knew very well that Rikuou had heard what he said and the controlled anger in that tone of voice told him very well that this was not a subject he should want to be anywhere near with the taller boy. Unfortunately, there was little that he could do to distract his roommate and they both knew it.

"Um…"

"Are you trying to tell me that you got these wounds…for me?"

Yup, Rikuou was really pissed. The way the words were coming out in a hiss, like a snake ready to strike…he had been prepared for this earlier but had gotten caught off guard. The Lecture was about to start now, about how he was really stupid and how he shouldn't have done it. He could probably tune it out once it got started, but he honestly didn't want to have to say why he did it because he _knew_ the reaction he was going to be getting.

When Kazahaya didn't answer, Rikuou stood and began advancing on the bed. The apprehension in his hazel eyes didn't seem to deter it until he was bending over, their faces inches from touching.

"Care to _explain_ to me why you would do something so incredibly stupid?"

"Um…"

"Kazahaya…"

"Uh…"

"Answer me."

Rikuou was _really_ scary when he was really angry, Kazahaya decided. He'd never really seen Rikuou really angry before now and he began to wonder what sort of thing that Rikuou might do.

"I was just trying to help," he whispered lamely. "You always do all the hard work, it seems like, and so I thought I could do something as well that was…more proactive."

For a long minute, his partner didn't say anything, nor did he move. "Are you lying, Kazahaya?"

"No." It was the truth; he wasn't lying. He just wasn't telling _all_ the reasons. But it was for both their sakes that he wasn't saying the rest of it, since it wouldn't do any good for either of them after _that_.

"Fine." Rikuou straightened and went back to his chair, but Kazahaya had a feeling that he wasn't fooling him. Kazahaya wasn't good at lying, so it was best to at least tell one reason and that'd be it.

"That's all?"

"What about it?" Rikuou snapped sharply back, staring almost blankly at the page in his book he'd opened it up to.

"Well…you're not going to…you know…yell at me?"

"Did you want me to?"

"Uh…" This was very unlike Rikuou. "It's just…you look like you want to, but you're not. You're…stewing about it."

"You really want to know what I think?"

"Um…" He wondered if he should answer yes or no. Now that he had the option of knowing, he would normally have said yes without pause. But he also knew that he'd probably get yelled at and he honestly didn't like getting yelled at. "Yes?"

"First off, you really are an idiot," Rikuou began without so much as a pause and it seemed to Kazahaya as if he'd just been _waiting_ to let it all out. And he'd just walked right into it. But he couldn't help it, really. He actually…about Rikuou…

"Second, I don't honestly care if you're proactive or not on Kakei's jobs. Probably if you were more proactive, things like this would happen even_more_ frequently than they do now. You make a mess of everything and I'm _always_ having to bail you out of trouble."

Kazahaya was never one to just take a beating without saying something back and he couldn't help interrupting, spitting out heatedly, "Hey, I was just trying to be nice and help you! He said—"

"He said _what_?"

Shit. He really needed to think more before he said anything. Knowing that Rikuou would blow his top if he heard, he merely bit the inside of his lip lightly and refused to say anything more.

"You are _really_ annoying, you know that? I don't know why I bother even talking to you!"

After that, while the silence filled, Kazahaya decided that staring at the wall instead of Rikuou was a much safer plan.

_Tuesday the 14th 8:57 pm_

"Well, at least you can keep food down now."

It apparently embarrassed the hell out of Kazahaya that Rikuou refused to even let him eat by himself and had to be fed from his roommate. In truth, maybe Kazahaya could have done it on his own, but he wasn't taking chances of anything making the boy worse.

Maybe this was a way of atonement. Kazahaya had relied on him to save him from his own stupidity and Rikuou nearly hadn't made it on time. There was no mistaking that Kazahaya's actions had been deeply idiotic, but that didn't really help his peace of mind. If he'd been just a few minutes later, who knew if Kazahaya could have been saved at all.

It had not escaped his attention that Kazahaya hadn't told him everything earlier, but he dared not push, for his own sake. If Kazahaya said anything stupid, he wasn't sure he could hold back his own emotions. He was possessive and protective yes, but that didn't mean he wasn't capable of yelling out a lung or two when he was really pissed, even at the person he was protective of.

No, he would save the lecture until Kazahaya was better able to withstand it. He really didn't want to tear into the boy when he was feeling down already. He may be hard on him and a bastard to boot, but he wasn't downright cruel without a really good reason and his own frustrations at himself weren't a good enough reason for that.

"Um…Rikuou?"

"What?"

"Um…"

"You want to go to the bathroom?"

"Sort of…I want to take a shower, so since you won't let me walk there myself…"

"Fine."

He moved to the bed and leaned down to carefully loop one of Kazahaya's arms around his neck. It would have been easier, he figured, to carry the boy as he wasn't that heavy, but his arm would have to go around his back. All in all, walking together might be a bit awkward as he supported almost all of Kazahaya's weight, but at least he could make sure his arm was around a waist, not touching the painful wounds on his back.

The bathroom itself was small, as the apartment was rather small, so they were a bit cramped. He set Kazahaya to sit down on the toilet while he ran the water in the tub. He wondered if he should take off the bandages. He'd changed them earlier that day which mean he'd probably have to change them soon anyway.

Well, first things first.

"Hey, hey, _hey_! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"I'm taking off your pants."

"Don't you dare tell me you're going to…!" Kazahaya shrieked, seeming unable to find a correct word for the fact that Rikuou was going to help him bathe.

Rikuou's gaze pinned on the panicky teen. "Calm down or you'll open your wounds. I don't want you moving around too much. You realize that you probably should have been in a hospital and gotten stitches right? It's a miracle they've closed on their own without that and if you open them again, you're probably going to _have_ to go to the hospital. Regardless of the police, you really think you can afford any doctor bills?"

Kazahaya couldn't refute that and began to sulk. "Fine, fine! At least let me take off my own pants and get in the tub myself!"

With an irritated sigh, he backed off and turned his back. Normally he would have made some snappy remark just to rile up his roommate, as Kazahaya seemed somewhat of a prude, but given everything, he just couldn't do it. First off, with the exception of just going to take care of the bathroom necessities, he was invading the other's privacy nearly every moment of the day just to make sure he didn't get any worse.

Secondly, neither of them were really mentally ready to deal with consequences after last night and the things that had happened between them.

He heard the splashing in the tub and turned around to find Kazahaya curled up in the smallest little ball he could make himself with his knees drawn up to his chest and cheeks as red as cherries. Rikuou knelt by the tub and reached out to gently peel off the bandages. The wounds seemed to glare at him, silently reminding him of his failures and he swore that it wouldn't happen.

Ever again. 


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**  
_Wednesday the 15th 7:28 am_

_The pain was nearly unbearable and he couldn't help his screams. He wasn't ever the type to hold things in, unfortunately, and it seemed like his cries only excited his captor into bringing down the whip harder on his defenseless back. He hadn't thought…he hadn't **known**…_

Everything in Kazahaya's vision was hazy by now. Sounds were even becoming distorted in his ears. He wished that the man didn't wait between lashes, because if he hadn't, he probably would have gone somewhat numb and wouldn't have to feel as much pain.

Well, that was a theory anyway.

But no, this madman was probably very good at this, because he knew just the right timing to bring as much pain as possible with as much force. He'd struggled earlier against the chains that bound, hung from the ceiling, his hands and kept him aloft, but had learned that only brought worse pain in quick succession, not only from his own body but by the man that had strung him up in the first place.

He was really, really stupid and he didn't need Rikuou to tell him that. The thought of Rikuou reminded him why he went in the first place and he realized, albeit a little too late, that the man had lied.

Kazahaya wasn't dumb, despite Rikuou's harsh comments otherwise. He wasn't sure who Tsukiko was, but she obviously meant a great deal to his partner. He wasn't one to normally pry, after all he had secrets himself that he wouldn't want to tell, but this, he had thought, had been a golden opportunity. The man had said he had information about this Tsukiko. Their deal had been that if he went, this Capricorn would tell Rikuou.

He was incredibly stupid for being so trusting.

His consciousness was hazing in and out now, the sound of the man's laughter dulling until he couldn't really hear anything. There was a muffled crash, but he couldn't bring himself to care what it was. Even as his suspension in the air was broken and he was falling to the floor, he could only think about Rikuou and know that his partner would never thank him for what he'd done.

"_Kazahaya_!"

Kazahaya jerked away at the very insistent voice in his ear and blinked blurry, sleep filled eyes to see none other than his roommate staring at him. "…Wha…?"

"I began to wonder if I should tie you to the bed on your stomach, you were thrashing so hard. Was it a nightmare?"

Nightmare? You could call it that, he thought. He let out a heavy sigh and blinked when his cheeks felt wet. He had been crying in his sleep? Oh, wasn't that just perfect. More ammo with which Rikuou would throw at him at a later date and feel superior about when they argued.

"I guess," he muttered, since Rikuou was still insistently waiting for an answer. "I dreamed about when I was getting whipped."

Kazahaya had closed his eyes and missed Rikuou's wince. He didn't want to go back to sleep. In truth, after two days of doing nothing but laying in bed, he was bored and full of energy. He wanted to _do_ something.

"Hey, Rikuou."

"What?"

He strained his eyes to watch as Rikuou was heading to the door and obviously ready to go down to open the shop. "Come on, can I do something now? All I've done is lay here…"

Rikuou paused and when there wasn't an automatic no, he began to hope a little. A jaundiced, green eye looked him over and the taller boy came back to gently peel a little bit of the fresh bandages away from his back. "Hmm…well, they _look_ a little better. You can get up and go around the apartment, I guess, on the condition you don't move around too much and you are not to leave."

As he expected, Rikuou wasn't one to coddle someone for very long. "But the shop—my pay—"

"I don't think Kakei is as cruel to the point of docking your pay because you couldn't work thanks to your wounds."

Rikuou was out the door after that and leaving him alone in the apartment. Kazahaya could only bless his lucky stars that the other boy allowed him to get up. He wasn't sure he wanted to risk that particular volcano by doing something Rikuou refused to let him do.

He carefully levered himself up, feeling his back muscles gather together to make a scream of protest, but he ignored it. Wondering just how much movement his body would permit, he stretched his arms out in front of him. Okay, that was good. However, he could barely get his arms up to be level with his shoulders before he was shaking with pain. Okay, that was bad. And given that, he realized that he was not going to be able to pull on a t-shirt. Even the button ones were out of the question, because he'd have to put his arms backwards and he knew that was going to hurt very badly.

"So I'm delegated to wandering around his apartment half naked," he muttered. "Wonderful."

He could not deny that Rikuou had taken care of him a lot in the last two days. _Speaking of days, Kakei and Saiga should be back soon. Maybe even today. They said they wouldn't be gone for more than five days…_

As if the very thought summoned them, there was a tapping on the door and it opened without him having to say anything a moment later. What was it with that anyway? Every time he thought about someone, it was like they just showed up.

Kakei made a beeline for his side and something about the look on the storeowner's face suddenly made him feel terribly guilty about getting injured. "Kakei-san, you're back. Did you have a nice trip?"

His boss looked like he wanted to hug him, but didn't dare because of his back and the concerned look intensified. "Kudou-kun, I'm sorry. Rikuou told me…I had no idea you'd end up getting injured at all when I gave you this job. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey, hey," Kazahaya interrupted, waving his hands in front of him a little to forestall any more words and make him feel even worse. Really, was he good for anything? He was always making people worry. "It's my fault, Rikuou will tell you that. I…shouldn't have trusted him, I know."

Kakei hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed with him and touched his head softly. There was true concern in those eyes and he felt even _guiltier_ about getting hurt now. His only consolation was that his boss hadn't known it was going to happen, so he could have a nice little trip with Saiga.

"Really, I'm fine," he tried again, with more conviction, to wipe away the fact that it was obvious his boss felt responsible for what happened. "Rikuou's been taking…very good care of me."

"You seem like you're not sure about that fact," Kakei murmured, with a faint smile.

That teasing Kakei of the Green Drug was the one he knew and Kazahaya brightened a little. He really didn't want everyone to be so concerned about him because it made him feel worse about getting hurt in the first place. "Well…he wouldn't let me do anything on my own. He even refused to let me bathe without him."

"Bet you loved every second of it, eh kid?"

Speak of the devil. He peered around Kakei's shoulder to the doorway and Saiga seemed impossible huge as he took up all available space. His cheeks reddened at the implication and he tried not to think about the talk that he and Rikuou had had as his roommate had brought him home that night after he'd been rescued. "_I did not!_ It was embarrassing! Terrible!"

"Sure, sure." Saiga laughed and his tone remained unconvinced of Kazahaya's words. For the first time ever, the boy was suddenly glad that Saiga wore sunglasses, because he didn't want to see someone else's concern and guilt over the fact that he got hurt when it was his own fault in the first place.

"You all right, kid?"

"I'm _fine_," he said in a fond exasperation he didn't feel. "I told you two, Rikuou's been taking care of me."

"Then everything's okay, right Kakei? The kid is fine, so don't look so down about it. You're not all-powerful and can't see everything right?"

"But I—"

He tuned out the faint argument from Kakei and Saiga and wished they would just leave. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate their company or their attentions, he did, but he was on the verge of crying with guilt for making them worry and he didn't want them to see it, especially Kakei. Kakei would no doubt think that even that was his fault.

"Kakei, you need to sign for these deliveries."

Rikuou's voice filtered from down below and the storeowner sighed. "Kudou-kun, rest up and get better, okay?"

"Of course," he said with as nice a smile and as much enthusiasm as he could muster. He pretended he didn't see the doubt in Kakei's eyes or the long look Saiga gave him as the two adults left and had never been more glad to be alone. His hands gripped the edge of the bed and he blinked as tears fell. He'd been crying a lot in the past two days, and though no one would blame him for it, he couldn't stand it. It made him so weak and vulnerable.

"Don't cry, okay?"

Kazahaya's head jerked up. He hadn't even heard Rikuou come in the apartment, much less the bedroom. Damn it, this he knew was probably Kakei's fault. If Kakei thought he was helping, he was doing the exact opposite. He wiped his eyes and cheeks roughly and sulked, using as much willpower as possible to stave off the rest of the tears he felt that were still there waiting to be shed.

"Don't you have work?"

"Kakei sent me up with some medicine for your back. I could have sworn we didn't have it in the store before."

Heavy footfalls came near him, but Kazahaya refused to look up at Rikuou. Maybe he was being petulant. Maybe he was coming across as ungrateful for the many things that those around him did for him and their concern and worry. Maybe he appeared like a spoiled child. But he was just feeling depressed that he couldn't do anything right and wanted a good cry by himself.

"Hey, just don't cry, okay? I don't know what to do with you when you're crying."

"I'm not crying," he spat back, trying to pretend he didn't feel the salty wetness of tears on his cheeks once more.

"Yes you are." Rikuou tilted his head and their eyes met. Was it his imagination or did Rikuou look just a tad lost? Probably his imagination since in all the time he'd known him, Rikuou had always had a very firm grasp of situations and always knew what to do. "It's not like you to hold it in."

"I don't want you to see," he whispered truthfully, even as his vision became slightly blurry as more and more tears began welling up.

"Then I'll pretend I never did," Rikuou said, the first act of true kindness that Kazahaya could remember out of him. "I don't know what to do with you when you're crying, but if you have to…then…go ahead."

Rikuou looked distinctly awkward about the whole thing, but Kazahaya being Kazahaya, he only wrapped his arms around Rikuou's waist and buried his face in that strong stomach as he sobbed. Hesitantly, Rikuou's hand lifted to rest on the soft strands of his roommate's hair and stood there like the comfort that Kazahaya desperately needed. 


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**  
_Wednesday the 15th 11:33 pm_

Rikuou had learned something about himself that day, he reflected as he once again made himself comfortable on the floor next to Kazahaya's bed. He had learned that he became completely unraveled, flustered, and dumbfounded when Kazahaya cried. It was, now that he thought about it, the first time he'd ever _seen_ Kazahaya cry. All through the memories he had, and he'd searched them all too, not once had he ever seen Kazahaya cry on any of the scary jobs they had or anything he'd ever said to the boy had caused that reaction.

He glanced at the sleeping figure on the bed with a sigh. He probably could go back to his own room now, but…given that it seemed Kazahaya was getting nightmares every time he slept lately, he wasn't sure he wanted to leave. If a nightmare seemed imminent, he wanted to be there to wake the boy up. He had no idea if dreaming about the things that had been done to him was harmful or not, but he didn't really want to chance that constantly dreaming about it would leave any permanent damage behind on his psyche.

Tiredly, he rubbed his eyes, but that didn't really help. The image of Kazahaya crying against his stomach while he stood there helplessly was burned in his brain. The tears had almost glistened like diamonds on his skin and he was inevitably reminded of the time he'd found him almost dying in the snow. Even then, when death had been imminent, there had not been a single trace of a tear, only a stubborn will to live.

Perhaps it was that that drew Rikuou to him so firmly. Up until he'd brought Kazahaya home, he'd lacked anything with the depth of that conviction. Ever since Tsukiko had been taken from him, he'd always felt lukewarm with reality. He hadn't found any sort of energy to _care_ about anything, really. Then this spitting, hissing, cat had gotten his claws in him and even to that day, he couldn't get them out.

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Kazahaya had him wrapped around one of those long, tapered fingers. No matter what the other boy did, Rikuou was always there, at his beck and call. It didn't matter that he might be yelling at him or calling him names, he'd still end up following after and saving the idiot. No matter what he might say to the contrary, he always found himself going.

It almost reminded him of Kakei and Saiga, in a way. It didn't matter what Saiga was doing, when Kakei beckoned, the man would drop everything and come. Was it becoming like that? Was he, heaven forbid, becoming _dependant_ on Kazahaya?

He shuddered. It was both repulsive and beautiful to think that might be so. It was not that he detested Kazahaya. Far from it. No, it was just terrifying that if he became dependant on him and then tried to hold him, Kazahaya would become like his name and then he'd be left alone again, only three times worse off.

Making fun of Kazahaya was terribly fun and brought life to him. He didn't do it to make Kazahaya angry, but to see what it would be like to be so free and lively as the other boy was. It was because most of the time, he didn't feel alive at all. All he had had, until he'd brought Kazahaya home, was the determination to find Tsukiko, even if she were dead. Nothing else had ever penetrated. Then came along _him_ and he remembered what it felt like to be alive.

And perhaps he liked to rile up Kazahaya for other reasons too. When Kazahaya looked so serious at him, like he was emotionally wounded on his behalf, it cut him to the quick. The expression on his face during the festival where they had gotten the vase was as clear as crystal and whenever he saw that expression, he had to say something, anything, to change it. It made his breathing hitch to see such a pained expression on the boy. As far as he was concerned, Kazahaya's face was meant for smiling and laughing, not as if he was about to cry.

_Damn, I feel like…I feel like he's pulling me wherever he wants to go._ He groaned and glanced at that sleeping face inches from his shoulder. _I have to wonder…between the two of us…who's really in control here?_

_Thursday the 16th 12:57 pm_

Saiga looped his arm over Rikuou's shoulder as the boy began restocking some of the replacement items they'd received the day before. "Whatcha lookin' so down for there, Rikuou? It's been a while and thanks to Kakei's magic salve, which I know you just _enjoy_ so much rubbing on your little roomie, the kid's gonna be okay."

"I'm fine," he responded, not even bothering to try to shake off that heavy arm from his shoulders. Better Saiga on him or Kakei than on Kazahaya, he thought possessively.

"Is the guard dog lonely without his master?"

That voice…

His green eyes snapped up to glared daggers of hatred at the woman that entered. Well, well, if it wasn't ice cold Virgo. He thought that he was done with the damn Zodiac group. They should have been _gone_ by now, right? The only one that ever stayed in Japan was that Aries woman, right? And they hadn't seen her at all.

Saiga didn't seem overly happy to see her either and for the first time in his company, he could feel the older man radiating a strong displeasure. The arm left his shoulder and he moved to stand imposingly near the woman, but she appeared not to care that he was so much bigger.

She was a relatively tall woman with the purest of platinum blond hair that he'd ever seen. She spoke impeccable Japanese, but there was an accent that he didn't honestly care to place among it. Her eyes, a shade of sky blue, were very much like her cold and ruthless attitude. She wore a black and blue pants suit, with heels that had to be at least two inches high. Irritatingly, she pulled off her sunglasses slowly and gave a superior smirk in Rikuou's direction.

"Stop growling at me, guard dog, I've just come to pay your employer."

He also really hated how she now seemed to call him guard dog every damn time they met.

Kakei appeared like clockwork from his office and he had no better attitude than Saiga. She however, also seemed unaffected by Kakei's cold and rather scary stare. "Virgo-san, I can't say I'm pleased to see you at this particular moment."

"Really?" she commented, stalking up to the man with that superior and condescending smile. Her high heels clicked annoyingly on the hard floor of the store. "And why is that?"

"You told me you that you wanted an outside force to investigate and find one of your members doing illegal and immoral activities. You did _not_ say that this particular person you suspected was mentally unhinged. Thanks to that, Kudou-kun was whipped very badly. And even worse, you refuse to help. You know very well that we can't take him to a hospital thanks to what's happened. Your group has enough clout and connections to make sure the police wouldn't go within three miles of him and yet you won't help."

"Kudou-kun? Ah, you mean guard dog's little master over there." She shrugged. "I didn't mention it because I wasn't sure. I didn't think I should alarm you prematurely with only baseless suspicions."

"Yeah right," Saiga cut in with irritation. "You only did that to keep the price down."

"Please do not call Rikuou a guard dog," Kakei said at the same time.

Apparently, Virgo chose to ignore Saiga's whole existence. "But why not? That's what he is. He's an overgrown, violent and vicious guard dog that does not like people. Those kinds of animals have only one master, will only respond to one, and will only bond to one. Only one can control it. And naturally, they will never bite the hand that feeds them and will do whatever it takes to protect said hand. It is terribly obvious that the little squirt he has for a partner is his master. And whoever is the owner of such a guard dog is the one that has the _real_ power."

Rikuou nearly cut himself with the box cutter in his hand in rage the longer she talked. Kakei's eyes flashed dangerously and he warned in as polite a tone as possible, "_Virgo-san_. I thought you were leaving with the rest of the Zodiac members soon."

Her condescending smile only worsened. "Oh, I am. In fact, my plane takes off in two hours. I just came by to personally give you your payment." She pulled out a very thick envelope from inside the breast pocket of her jacket and handed it to Kakei. She turned to go and paused. Her eyes were insincere and still cold as she said, "Oh, and _thank you_ for your help."

It was obvious to Rikuou that she didn't mean a damn thing about the thank you. She obviously thought of them as little more than ants to step on if they were in her way. Slipping on her stylish sunglasses, she stepped out into the warm daylight, but Rikuou fancied he could still see ice clinging to her as she moved. Did blood even run through that damnable body?

He doubted it. No one that cold could be alive.

"Forgive me, Rikuou."

"Eh?" The seventeen year old blinked, drawn from his vicious thoughts and glaring at the door to look at the contrite storeowner.

"I knew she wasn't the friendliest and I was a little suspicious of the job, but I had no idea this was going to happen."

"You didn't see it beforehand?"

Kakei shook his head forlornly. "No. The group is far too powerful for my limited abilities to see anything that might happen connected with them."

"Like with Tsukiko?"

"Yes. Had I known, I would never have accepted the job and Saiga and I would never have left."

Rikuou shrugged. "Not your fault. Nobody knew the idiot was going to be so stupid as to let it happen. To just _walk right in there_ without me, without _waiting_. Being stupid enough to just trust everything a madman says…" He was getting angrier and angrier the more he thought about it until he just wanted to hit something hard. "Not even depending on me," he muttered.

"Rikuou, I think it's time you went on break now," Kakei interrupted yet again as gently as possible. "Why don't you check on Kudou-kun?"

"Yeah, you do that and give me that box cutter while you're at it," Saiga added, despite Kakei's disapproving glance. "Don't want you to cut yourself or someone else."

_You mean that woman, don't you, Saiga?_ He could not deny that he had more than his fair share of bloodthirsty thoughts towards the woman who had hired them and the madman. The only reason why he hadn't acted on them was because he knew that doing something to them would hardly make Kazahaya any better.

"Yeah."

He dropped the box cutter in Saiga's outstretched hand and went back upstairs where he knew that Kazahaya was probably going nuts with boredom. Right then, what he _really_ needed was to be around his roommate, rile him up and…become sane again.

Maybe…maybe the woman had been right after all. Maybe Kazahaya really was the more powerful one of their pair.  



	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**  
_Friday the 17th 5:15 pm_

Kakei had asked repeatedly if he was all right and Kazahaya had ended up reassuring his employer twice as much. Thanks to Kakei's medicine, who wouldn't tell him where he'd gotten it, he had healed twice as fast as expected. Rikuou still refused to let him do without the swath of white bandages on his back, but he could at least walk without an overwhelming amount of pain, for a certain amount of time anyway.

No one would allow him to work in the store, much to his displeasure. He never would have thought he'd miss work, but he'd been stuck in the apartment for a whole week and he was bored to death. So when he overheard Kakei giving Rikuou a side job, he had naturally did his best to convince his boss to let him go too.

He suspected the only reason he got away with it was because it was a 'simple' job and required no strenuous parts to it. Rikuou had been adamantly and furiously against it. Even Saiga hadn't been very keen on the idea, but Kazahaya could be stubborn when he wanted to be.

Kazahaya glanced at Rikuou walking next to him out of the corner of his eye. Since yesterday, Rikuou had been _pensive_ and had actually refrained from poking fun at him…at least not as much. This bugged him because it meant something was not right with the world.

"Hey."

"Eh?" Kazahaya blinked as his partner suddenly and abruptly shattered the silence that had fallen between them. "What?"

"Can we talk about _that_ yet?"

He flushed and looked away. Naturally, it was too much to hope that the other boy would have forgotten about it. "Even if I said no, you'd probably talk about it anyway," he muttered.

"I wouldn't."

Part of him didn't want to believe it, as this was the second time in their entire acquaintance that Rikuou was being nice to him and frankly, that wasn't of the norm. The first being when he let him cry and then pretended it never happened.

"I don't see what's to talk about," he replied, keeping his gaze fixed on the sidewalk and trying to ignore the growing discomfort on his back. They'd been walking for a while and it was finally getting to his wounds.

"I think there is. Was it only because you were delirious with pain?"

He knew all he had to say was that he didn't want to talk about it and Rikuou would drop it. That's all. But he couldn't make those words come out. Maybe it was because what he really wanted to know was what Rikuou thought about it all.

_"Ne, Rikuou," Kazahaya muttered, his voice slurring and almost unintelligible._

"Shut up and let me save you so you don't die." Rikuou was currently hurrying as fast as he could go while practically dragging his half-alive partner back to the drugstore.

"I'm glad you came to save me."

"I know," he replied distractedly, trying to avoid main roads lest the police or some well-meaning pedestrian caught them. "I don't even know why you did something so stupid."

"Because you mean a lot to me."

Rikuou was so surprised he stopped walking. Kazahaya's cheeks were flushed with pain or perhaps something else and his eyes were hazy. If he let himself, he could probably force himself to forget that the other boy had been whipped and call those eyes 'bedroom' eyes. His head was tilted up invitingly…

"No, it wasn't," he finally answered. They hadn't kissed, but it had been such a close thing.

Rikuou didn't comment at first. "I always thought you hated me, since…you know…you tell me that all the time."

"I don't hate you," Kazahaya whispered. In fact, he was pretty sure he was…well…melodramatic as it was to say, he was pretty sure he was in love with Rikuou. He just hoped that his roommate wouldn't pick up that part. He hoped that Rikuou would just take it that he didn't hate him and leave it at that.

Maybe saying that he meant a lot to him wouldn't have seemed like a big deal to someone else, but for Kazahaya it was, especially when it was about or said to Rikuou. He was always so cautious with what he said, lest somehow Rikuou use it again him. He had been afraid that if he said anything, Rikuou would ridicule him for it or it would change things irreparably.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Hate me?"

"Never said I did."

"You would think you do, considering how you treat me," he muttered irritably, lifting his eyes to stare ahead of him so he didn't run into anyone.

"So me saving you countless times and spending the last week nursing you every free moment I have back to health means I hate you? Last I looked, that sort of thing meant you liked said person."

"You also call me an idiot all day!"

"That's because you are."

"Gah, stupid Rikuou!" He forgot momentarily his injuries and slapped Rikuou's arm, so lightly he probably wouldn't even feel it through his jacket, before he winced in pain. It took all his willpower not to hiss through clenched teeth.

Despite all his effort, Rikuou noticed that fleeting flash of pain on his face. "I really shouldn't have let you come. Your back is hurting again, isn't it?"

"Who says you're the boss of me, jerk!"

"Come here."

"Whaa—"

Kazahaya was dragged unceremoniously into an alleyway. Without a hint of warning, Rikuou had turned him around and dragged up the back of his shirt. "Hey, what the hell!"

"Well, the bandages are still white, so you haven't started bleeding yet. You should go back all the same though."

The smaller boy pulled his shirt from Rikuou's hold, his cheeks tainted adorably pink. "I'm already halfway there, why should I go back?!"

"Is money all that important to you? You're getting to live in the apartment practically free."

In truth, the money hadn't even occurred to him. He'd just been bored witless and he was the first to admit that when he got bored, he tended to do stupid things. Kazahaya didn't answer and merely began walking again, letting Rikuou catch up when he wanted. Lately Rikuou had been very much like a mother hen. He was always hovering around and he'd never forgive the boy for not even letting him bathe on his own.

"Just don't get in trouble while we're there, okay? I don't want anything worse to happen while I'm there."

_Friday the 17th 7:40 pm_

"I'm going to kill you one of these days, I swear," Rikuou ranted at him as they entered the green drug some two hours later. Kazahaya winced a little, both at the words and the pain in his arm. His back hurt too, but he didn't think he should say so lest Rikuou turn around and…yell at him even more or something.

Kakei was there waiting for them and he looked worried and unhappy. "I knew I shouldn't have let you go, Kudou-kun. How is the cut?"

"Get this idiot of my sight," Rikuou snarled and shoved the toy kaleidoscope at Saiga before stalking up the stairs toward the apartment. He bad naturedly pulled sticks and twigs of grass out of his hair and was covered from head to toe in dirt.

"I'm sorry," Kazahaya whispered contritely.

"Well there's nothing we can do to change what's already been done," Kakei muttered as Saiga left the kaleidoscope on the counter and followed Rikuou without a word. "Let's clean this up and bandage it. When you go upstairs, have Rikuou check your back."

"Yes…" Morosely, Kazahaya followed Kakei to the man's office.

Upstairs, Saiga found Rikuou slamming around the apartment in the worst temper yet seen in the teenager. He had already pulled off his t-shirt and was searching for a clean one to wear once he got out of the shower. He'd tossed his shoes haphazardly in the entryway and he was fuming silently.

"So big boy, what happened?"

"The idiot! I'm going to kill him this time, I swear!" Rikuou whirled on the taller man, who had taken to leaning against the doorway to the bedroom. "Halfway there, his back started hurting him so I told him to go home, but he wouldn't. I should have dragged him home kicking and screaming! I was just supposed to go in, grab the thing, and leave. But stupid Kazahaya has to go and _touch_ something, which promptly knocks the idiot unconscious. We're about to get caught, so I had to grab the thing, Kazahaya, and get out the window. I don't know how, but somehow even unconscious Kazahaya is determined to make my life harder because he cuts himself on some broken glass even!"

"Ah, ah, I see…"

"I'm going to tie him to the bed and—"

"Have your wicked way with him?"

"No, I'm going to make sure he never leaves the damn apartment!"

"I'm sure the kid appreciates your worry, but you might try showing your concern in a different way rather than calling him an idiot," Saiga suggested. "He's already carrying around significant baggage as he is."

Rikuou ran a hand through his hair in quick, abortive gestures. "I realize he hates feeling useless, but _he_ doesn't realize that in his condition, he can't do anything. He's only hindering because I have to pay extra attention to him!"

"Take some advice from someone who's been there before: just do your best to keep him safe since he won't listen to you anyway. There's no use yelling and ranting at him since it won't make a difference. Especially with that kid, sugar works a lot better than vinegar, if you know what I mean."

"I know, but I just…!"

"I know what you mean."  



	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**  
_Saturday the 18th 2:42 pm_

Rikuou had mulled over a suggestion of Saiga's for quite some time now.

_"Try asking him again why he did it. Maybe you'll get a different answer."_

Now wasn't that just like Saiga? Like Kazahaya was one of those toys, those dolls that you had to press a button and some random saying came out of its mouth. Most of the time, that description seemed to fit idiotic Kazahaya, but as much as he might want to know, he wasn't sure if he should chance it. Heaven forbid that Kazahaya would end up crying on him again!

Thankfully, today's workday was only a half-day and he spent the next twenty minutes of his shift thinking about the bouncy boy upstairs in their apartment. He'd forbidden the idiot to leave after his deplorable conduct in the last mission until each and every one of those wounds on his back healed.

They were looking better day by day, thanks to Kakei's salve, and he figured by Monday, Kazahaya wouldn't need the bandages any longer. He wanted to know, but didn't bother to ask since he wouldn't be told, where his boss had gotten such a miracle-working medicine. It would have taken Kazahaya nearly a month or more to heal without it and they were almost gone within a week.

Given that his shift was over before he realized it, he beat a fast exit from the store proper, otherwise Kakei would no doubt think he _wanted_ more work. He wasn't sure what tired him out more: Kakei's jobs or Kazahaya.

No, wait he did know. It was Kazahaya.

The apartment was suspiciously silent when he entered and his eyes narrowed. There was no possible way Kazahaya would have dared leave and face his wrath, right? He was an idiot, that was true, but he had high self-preservation instincts. Angry-Rikuou was something those instincts put high on the list to avoid.

Rikuou's first place to check had been the bedroom and sure enough, there he was. He shook his head. Kazahaya could sleep anywhere at any time. He didn't understand how someone could just sleep so much. His roommate seemed to always be tired no matter how much sleep he got. It was baffling.

He frowned and moved a little closer. There was a towel lying haphazardly laying under his head and the pale brown of his hair was still wet. A clean shirt lay forgotten on the floor, as if it had fallen out of his hands, and the bandages on his back were soaked. He at least had managed to pull on some loose sweatpants before falling asleep.

…Were those _his_ sweatpants? They seemed awfully big on Kazahaya…

Given the situation, Rikuou sighed and tiredly rubbed his eyes. Kazahaya was _exactly_ like a cat, falling asleep within a blink of an eye anywhere they chose. He'd never kept a cat before so he wasn't entirely familiar on their behavior.

Well, time to get to work on the massive problem that was Kazahaya.

He moved to straddle Kazahaya's awkward position and pull off the bandages, waking up the boy in almost an instant. After all, who can sleep when someone is peeling off tape that had adhesively stuck to their skin?

"Hey, wh-what are you doing?! Get off me!"

"Stop struggling, you moron, and let me take these off. You got into the damn shower with them on." He pinned the boy on his stomach and frowned at how unwieldy the bandages had become, weighed down with water and warm water at that. "Why didn't you wait for me? You knew Kakei had given me a half-day."

"Because you'd insist on being there when I took it!" Kazahaya snapped, but thankfully refrained from any violent movements and let himself be manhandled onto his stomach.

"Of course. You can't clean the wounds yourself. If you could, things would be so much easier. I can't say that I've honestly _slept_ with any decency for the past week."

"…Do you regret it?"

Rikuou looked up Kazahaya's soft tone. "Regret what?"

"Taking care of me like this."

"I think you're just too sensitive lately," he responded, going back to the bandages without a blink. "You seem to keep asking if I hate you."

"I didn't—"

"Stupid. Asking someone if they regret taking care of you is the same thing as asking right out if they hate you. And I've already answered that question yesterday, so I'm not going to repeat myself."

He'd managed to the bandages off without a whole lot more stress on Kazahaya and studied the slim and not exactly overly muscular back. Really, his earlier estimate had been wrong. He could probably do without bandages now, given that they had closed up nicely. He ran his fingers over one of the longer wounds that would probably leave the biggest scar.

"Wh-wh-what are you doing, Rikuou!"

"Hold still," he told the boy, who seemed jumpy when he touched his back. Perhaps his touch had been too light and Kazahaya thought he was going to tickle him or something.

Really, even after being whipped and his wounds, that skin was still baby-soft. Always pale, with a delicate pink hue that begged to be held. Slim shoulders and waist that made him seem like quicksilver in the flesh, and fast as his name.

"Ri-Rikuou…"

Kazahaya's voice jolted him from his reflects and his fingers gently ghosting over the contours and wounds of the back in front of him. He could see that even his roommate's ears were a brilliant shade of red as he buried his face in the pillow beneath him. Not looking at him, huh?

He grinned in supreme amusement and leaned down, covering his own embarrassment at being caught being so sensitive and thinking awkward things about his partner by cracking once again some teasing comment. "Lustful voice, Kazahaya. Is your back your weak point?"

"Just shut up, you and _get off me_!"

The bigger boy laughed and got off his suddenly violent companion, eyes always fixed on the wounds. They remained happily closed and he figured at how most were almost fully healed that the boy would be all right and wouldn't need any more tendering.

Once his back was turned and he was leaving the bedroom, his smile slipped and he realized the severity of his mistake. He had been thinking things about Kazahaya, things that he shouldn't if they were just roommates, partners, and co-workers. He had been thinking, among other things, of Kazahaya as a lover would and that…

That was wrong.

He detoured into the bathroom for a shower for himself and tried to avoid shaking in fear. Yes, he as powerful as he was, feared falling in love. Especially with Kazahaya. The Kazahaya who never stayed still; the Kazahaya that was adorably dense; the Kazahaya that bounced around the room like he had springs under his feet. That Kazahaya had wormed past every defense he had and invaded into his heart so quickly that he hadn't noticed it. Now, Kazahaya was everywhere in him and he couldn't find the root of it to pull him out. The boy permeated his whole body and he breathed in Kazahaya in every waking and sleeping moment.

Rikuou was very much aware that he was, if not fully in love, at least halfway there with his roommate and that was a very terrifying thing indeed.

_Sunday the 19th 4:18 pm_

Kazahaya slipped in through the apartment door and immediately headed to the kitchen with the groceries he had bought. Rikuou had deemed that he was well enough to leave the confines of their home for something simple such as this.

He shivered as he remembered Rikuou's touch on his back the day before and his involuntary whispering of his partner's name. Thank god, Rikuou thought it was all a game, even though it hurt. They were both guys and it wasn't right for him to be in love with a jerk who would barely say his name when he remembered he knew it at all.

The calendar clearly told him it was his day to cook and he sighed. Rikuou's cooking was much better than his, but given the fact that Rikuou didn't seem too interested in coddling him anymore now that his injuries were better, he was apparently expected to pick up the routine again. In truth, Kazahaya had liked it when he was able to get Rikuou to dote on him and take care of him. Despite his teasing and mostly-harsh words, it had been such a gentle and warm feeling.

Rikuou would be back in the apartment in less than an hour and his roommate would probably kill him if he didn't have dinner ready for him by then. Even after the few months that they'd been together, he still only knew how to make the most minimal of dishes without screwing them up. Rikuou often complained that he never tried to learn anything new, but Kazahaya didn't have the time to even try, given that he was usually working in the shop, going on Kakei's jobs, and then just trying to sleep at night.

So…soup it was, since that was the quickest alternative.

An hour later, he heard Rikuou's heavy footfalls on the stairs and glanced up as the door opened. So much for quickest alternative. He'd messed up once before and had to redo everything, and it was still fifteen minutes away from being done.

What made matters worse was that Rikuou made a beeline for the kitchen. His green eyes seemed even wearier than usual and Kazahaya was reminded of what Kakei had told him a few days ago.

_"You know, he's been taking care of you all this time. He's gotten what little sleep he has, sitting on the floor next to your bed."_

"That jerk?! You're kidding!"

"I'm not," Kakei told him with a gentle smile as he bandaged the cut on Kazahaya's arm.

"But why would he do that…?" He granted that Rikuou probably didn't hate him, given what he'd said earlier, but he acted like he barely liked and tolerated him all the same. Why go through such effort?

"Probably to see if he could chase away your nightmares. And to see if you woke up in the middle of the night, needing something."

"Kakei says you'll be starting work again tomorrow."

Rikuou's voice penetrated into his daze and he flushed when he realized he hadn't been paying attention to what the other boy had said. Rikuou flashed him a look that said he knew he hadn't been either, but, for once, he wasn't called on it.

"I'll take a shower while dinner finishes."

Kazahaya didn't even get a chance to respond before Rikuou was gone down the hall and the sound of water running filled the apartment. His injuries had given Rikuou an unseemly amount of work, not only in the drugstore and the jobs, but also at home. He'd taken care of him day and night, nursing him back to health with the best of his abilities. He was grateful and yet wasn't, all the same. He knew Rikuou couldn't possibly reciprocate his feelings, but being so nice and gentle with him was giving him false hope.

The timing when Rikuou got out of the shower was perfect since Kazahaya had just set out their dinner. His clothes stuck to that rather admittedly stunning body lightly as he dried his hair vigorously and dropped down at the table without a word. 

Dinner was accomplished with almost complete silence. Almost and Kazahaya would have wished it stayed that way.

"Kazahaya, why did you go in there alone without me?" Rikuou asked, breaking the silence with a terrible panache of the worst question out there for the smaller boy.

"Didn't I already answer that five days ago?" he snapped, standing up to put his empty dishes in the sink.

"You couldn't have expected me to believe that's all there is to it. Kazahaya, you're _incapable_ of lying."

"I wasn't lying, you asshole!"

"You weren't telling the whole truth and that's the same thing."

He was steadfastly ignoring his partner until said partner loomed behind him like a tower of destruction. He'd let it go before…"I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad."

"You said you wouldn't talk about it if I didn't want to!" he protested, whirling around to stare in those hard green eyes that were like granite.

"In regards to _that_ issue, nothing else."

"You…you…manipulative…cheating…"

"_Why_ did you go, Kazahaya?"

His ears were assaulted with his name from Rikuou's lips and like it usually did, it seemed to melt away his resistance when he heard it. "Don't make me say it. You're going to get mad."

"I'm _already_ mad, in case you hadn't noticed. I've been mad all week. So just tell me."

_No, you're really going to get pissed_, he thought, but sighed in resignation. His silence about this issue had lasted a helluva lot longer than he had expected and he should at least be thankful that Rikuou hadn't pushed him before. Though given that his partner would have restrained himself since Kazahaya had been injured, maybe he should have taken advantage of that then instead of waiting.

Well, no use wishing for things that had long past.

"He said…he had information…on Tsukiko," Kazahaya whispered, trying not to notice how Rikuou's eyes widened until he thought it might hurt and that look of shock. "I'm not someone who meddles in other's business. I don't even know who she is, only that name I…happened to get hit with that one time from…your memories. But she obviously…means a lot to you, and I thought…He said that if I went with him, I…he would tell you…I was just trying to help."

His lame finish to his explanation had barely passed his lips when there was the loudest banging sound he'd ever heard. He winced when Rikuou's fist had made heavy contact with the countertop and he watched as the tiny mirror in the kitchen cracked, shattering glass on the floor.

Rikuou wouldn't look at him, but by the shaking of those wide shoulders that were hovering over him threateningly, he knew that his partner was trembling with rage. Kazahaya had never been this fearful of his roommate before in his life and he knew that Rikuou was probably having a very hard time controlling his temper.

"You…" came that low, but fury-tinted voice.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I j-j-just wanted to help…"

Finally those green eyes locked with his hazel and he quaked under the stare. Like Rikuou had never seen Kazahaya cry before, Kazahaya had never seen Rikuou truly angry like he was now. All the other times when he'd thought Rikuou had been angry were _nothing_ like what he saw now.

"You…"

Kazahaya's throat remained as dry as the Sahara and Rikuou leaned in abnormally close until their noses almost touched. His knees became weak, like jelly, and he had to hang on to the counter behind him for support.

"You **_IDIOT!_**" The roar nearly shattered his eardrums and he winced, still far too frightened to say anything. "How dare you…!" Rikuou seemed to be doing his damndest to control his temper and finally managed to get his voice down to a muted snarl.

"I—"

"First off, Tsukiko isn't _any_ of your business! And _second_, how dare you think of me like I'm some kind of low-life!"

"But I didn't—"

"Yes, you did!" Rikuou shouted. "The implication that I'd value Tsukiko over you enough, that I wouldn't _care_ that you got whipped to within an inch of your life if it meant I'd find out about Tsukiko, is _sickening_! Do you really think I'm such a heartless bastard as all that?! Damn, Kazahaya, you must really think I'm evil, huh? Do you think I loathe every inch of you that I'd _ever_ want that to happen?! It has never _once_ crossed my mind!"

Kazahaya swallowed thickly. He'd expected an angry reaction when he'd told him, but he hadn't think it would be this severe. Maybe he really was an idiot, after all. He hadn't been aware—he'd only tried to help—

"I d-don't think you're evil at all, R-Rikuou. I just wanted to help you, like…like you help me…"

Rikuou's head dipped and some of the tension seemed to seep a little from those wide shoulders. When he spoke next, it seemed as if all the fight had gone out of him. As if he didn't have the energy to even be angry anymore. As if he was…tired in every single way.

"Please…please don't do that," the bigger boy whispered and let their foreheads touch. Kazahaya was effectively pinned against the counter and couldn't even move. He couldn't tell if he should be terrified anymore, even. Their lips were so close, the position still compromising, but all he could see was the tired look on that face and the way his eyes had closed with a sigh. "The last thing I want is you hurt. _Why_ do you think I protect you?"

Kazahaya wanted so badly to lift up his hands, cup that face, and kiss him, but he couldn't make himself do so, so he just enjoyed this closeness for what it was worth. The arm that had kept his fist shaking on the counter at his side shifted until it encircled the seer's waist and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Rikuou…"

"Yeah?"

They spoke in whispers, as if the very idea of anything beyond that would shatter whatever fragile thing that was between them. "I love you, Rikuou."

"…Me too."

Kazahaya couldn't help wrapping his arms around that chest and holding him tight, burying his face, cheeks aglow with heat and still shaking, into that strong, strong neck. 


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**  
_Tuesday the 21st 1:19 pm_

Rikuou glanced over his shoulder from stocking extra notebooks for those high schoolers that came in needing extra. Kazahaya was barely visible from several aisles away in the section of necessary feminine products and he almost smirked. It didn't matter how many times he'd done it, if Rikuou looked closely, he could swear there was the faint tinge of pink on those cheeks, like baby roses not yet in full bloom.

He would love to see how deeply and prettily his new boyfriend would blush when they actually kissed.

Unfortunately, he entirely blamed the world and Kakei's sadistic streak that they hadn't yet even after the fact that for two days they'd been going out. When they'd first given their confessions, it would have been a golden opportunity, but Rikuou had been exhausted from everything he'd done the previous week. Plus, he hadn't wanted to give a 'tired' first kiss to Kazahaya. He wanted it to be something that would impress his boyfriend, make his knees go weak, and remember for the rest of time.

They'd slept in the same bed, fully clothed, that night. When Kazahaya had woke up the next morning, at the same time as Rikuou oddly enough, he hadn't even gotten a chance to get a morning kiss because the shy boy had all but bolted for the bathroom in embarrassment. It was too good an opportunity to miss, so he'd ended up teasing Kazahaya all morning over breakfast and gotten his boyfriend far too annoyed and mad at him to consider giving him one.

Ever since then, Rikuou had tried countless times to take that first kiss that sat there screaming sweetness at him from Kazahaya's lips, but something always interrupted: work, Saiga, Kakei, dinner, teasing, _something_ was always getting in the way.

"Rikuou."

Drawn out of his introspections, he blinked and looked to his left to see Kakei standing there with an amused smile on his face, as if he knew exactly what the younger boy had been thinking. It was not surprising, since Kakei seemed to know just about everything.

"Yeah?"

"Bring Kudou-kun and yourself to my office at your lunch. I have a job for you that will take up the rest of your shifts."

He frowned. "You sure?"

Kakei's light laughter penetrated the almost silent store and Kazahaya looked up in interest, peering around the end of the aisle. Seeing that, Rikuou gave him a seductive smirk which Kazahaya responded to with a faint glare, rush of hot cheeks, and disappeared back to work.

He loved doing that.

"I'm sure that Kudou-kun is fine now and besides, this job needs his talents in order to be completed."

"It can't be done after the shifts?" It was not that he was eager to keep working in the drugstore, but unlike the naïve but sweet idiot that Kazahaya was, he liked to know the most about a job that he could get out of Kakei.

"Then it would be nearing night and that would be a little too strong for Kazahaya to handle, I think. No, daytime is best."

Kakei turned, obviously not interested in answering anymore questions and he glanced at the clock hanging on the wall nearby. Ten minutes until their break. Time to go find Kazahaya, tease him, and inform him about the job. A devious smile took his lips as he slunk silently around the store. Moments later, there was a surprised shriek from the other employee.

So once again, here he was on a dangerous job with Kazahaya, who never asked any questions and accepted immediately, and still lacking a first kiss with his boyfriend. It was annoying him, but perhaps tonight when they got home, he could…

"Is this the place?"

Rikuou looked around them and at the landmarks that Kakei had specifically told them to look for. There was the rock that looked like an elongated egg to the left; in front, a tiny lake that could barely be called little more than a puddle; and to the right, a long since forgotten tow truck that was rusting.

"Yeah, this is it."

Now they just had to wait.

After less than two minutes of silence, which was apparently the longest Kazahaya could go without running his mouth, his boyfriend spoke, muttering, "Ne, Rikuou?"

"Yeah?" he asked, drawing out the word painfully long until it almost sounded like a sentence.

"Never mind…"

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling."

"Kazahaya, don't make me force you."

"How would you do that?"

At Kazahaya's suspicious tone, Rikuou's grin became a downright leer and he leaned in close, moving to merely blow softly into that enticing ear. Just that, but it had the most intriguing reaction that Rikuou had ever seen.

The boy jumped practically five feet, covered his ear, turned a brilliant shade of red, and while his mouth yelled at him, his eyes begged for more. Definitely an interesting reaction there and one that he would not soon forget.

"So you going to tell me what it was you were going to ask me or am I going to have take more drastic measures?"

Kazahaya frowned at Rikuou's continued smirk and crossed his arms over his chest. His cheeks were still red and he thought that a pouting, blushing Kazahaya was perhaps the cutest thing he had ever seen in his life. He couldn't tell if seeing Kazahaya like that brought out his instinct to jump him or tease him first.

"I just…wondered why…you hadn't kissed me yet."

Rikuou blinked and smiled a little, a soft, true smile that Kazahaya had rarely seen. He didn't really want to go into all the details of why not, as that would take too long and just ruin this picture perfect moment. "Ever thought maybe I was waiting for you to initiate it?"

"I…well…I…I-it's my first kiss, so…I w-wasn't sure how…"

_I know that, my dense little kitten,_ he thought. "So you wanted me to do it first?"

It probably took a lot of willpower for Kazahaya to nod and when he did, it was like god saying to Rikuou that this was the moment he'd spent two days trying to create. Unfortunately, just as he was leaning in, god must have had a change of mood.

"Oooooh, look at those two humans."

"What are they doing here?"

"They're standing in the middle of it."

"They can dance for us!"

"No they can't, the moon isn't out."

"They'd probably be terrible anyway."

"Yeah, humans can't dance at all."

Suddenly tiny little Christmas lights that turned out to be fairies, each radiating a different color, surrounded the two of them. So that was with that smile on Kakei's face as they left! If he hadn't known already, he knew right then that Kakei was without a doubt a sadistic bastard.

"H-Hello," Kazahaya muttered.

"Wow, it can talk!"

"It talked! It talked!"

"Did you hear, it talked!"

"Kakei-san sent us…"

"What is a 'Kakei-san'?"

"I don't know, do you?"

"No, no, do you, do you?"

"No, no, no, no!"

Kazahaya kept trying to interrupt, but the fairies were ignoring him and their incessant chattering was wearing on Rikuou's already thin patience. "Just grab one of them and see what you get. All we need to know is a date and time."

The fairies were too busy arguing that they didn't even notice when a hesitant Kazahaya reached out to gently hold a blue one. She screeched in fear and the rest began to zoom around faster than a F1 jet. Their little eyes were glowing red and he thought that they might attack any minute.

But it was only a second later, as he had been expecting, that Kazahaya keeled over and Rikuou had to catch him. His hand went slack and blue fairy zoomed away to join her comrades. He would have been annoyed at what they were saying, if he wasn't busy picking up an unconscious partner and taking him back to the drugstore.

"Ew, ew, ew, it touched me!"

"Nasty, don't come near me!"

"Hurry, wash it off!"

"It could be poison!"

"Ah, Kudou-kun, are you awake?"

Kazahaya gripped his aching head and sat up from the office sofa. Rikuou was leaning against a nearby wall and Saiga was messing around on Kakei's desk, despite the warning glances from his lover to stop.

"Ugh. That was…terrible…"

"Well, fairies are creatures of pure magic. It is no wonder that they might overwhelm you if they were not prepared for it. Did you see it?"

"Yeah…three days from now, at midnight exactly."

"Good."

"Why did you need to know?"

Kakei smiled and sat down. "I suppose I could tell you. Fairies are lively little creatures, who love to dance. In fact, the area you were in was their ring. Fairies always have a mushroom ring. Though the mushrooms were gone, they still go there. However, you must never, ever enter their ring at night. If you do, they will either kill you or make you dance until you die."

"That's…"

"Oh, I assure it's not impossible, Kudou-kun. It has been known to happen. They may seem harmless, but fairies can be very deadly. A client needed some fairies dust, but didn't know when he could go get them."

"But if they come out every night, then what's the big deal when he goes?" Rikuou asked.

"The potency is different. There will be the highest concentrate because of the one queens will be there three days from now at exactly midnight."

"What is it used for?"

Saiga looked up with a leer. "You really want to know, boy? I could tell you what I did with Kakei when we had some. You see, I put it in his coffee and then he did the most wonderful thing with his hips—"

Kazahaya fled with all haste from the office before Saiga could offer to show what Kakei had done to him. The store was closed now, even though it was still early and he realized that all he really wanted was a nice shower. His wounds were healing very well, but now they tended to itch a little with the scabs growing in. Kakei had told him that meant they were doing perfectly, but he was under no circumstances allowed to itch them with anything.

Rikuou's hands gripped his shoulders, stopping him halfway to the bathroom, and he glanced back in question. "Rikuou, what is it?"

"Just continuing our…discussion from before those annoying chatterboxes showed up."

Kazahaya flushed red and would have beat a hasty retreat in embarrassment if Rikuou's arms had somehow expertly twirled him around and trapped him in a heated embrace. "Ri-Rikuou…"

He couldn't deny that he did want to kiss the other boy, but he couldn't bring himself to work up the courage to make the first move. What if he sucked? What if Rikuou didn't really mean what he'd said two days ago? What if he was disgusted? All sorts of 'what ifs' filled his head until he found his throat strangled into silence.

Rikuou was looming over him and when he spoke, his hot breath soaked Kazahaya's lips with the smell of coffee and chocolate. "I'm going to give you a kiss you'll not forget."

When their lips finally met, Kazahaya wasn't sure what he expected. Something chaste or something so hot it melted him? It was…neither. It was sweet and gentle, but overwhelmingly powerful. Rikuou's tongue was surprisingly limber as it invaded his mouth and ran the soft underside over Kazahaya's own as it lifted up to meet attacking party.

A faint moan was dredged from their combined lips and he wasn't sure if it was his, or Rikuou's. Before he'd even realized, Rikuou had deepened the kiss so much that he was pressed against the wall and holding onto those broad shoulders tightly. He was shaking from head to foot, and there was a definite feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. Yes, he was clueless, but he did know some things and that feeling was the prelude to a very specific problem.

But he couldn't break their lips apart. Rikuou had them securely together and was abusing his lips without ever pulling them again, nipping at the soft flesh until it was full and red before plunging his tongue right back and driving Kazahaya insane with the sensations of his partner's explorations.

It was only when a knee slid between his legs that he began gently pushing at Rikuou's shoulders, trying to ask him to stop. He didn't want it, not then. The kiss was powerful enough to make him feel like he would put up with anything Rikuou would do to him with a smile, but he just couldn't get over it. It was his _first kiss_ and that was flooring enough. He couldn't handle it if they did something more when he hadn't even had a chance to get used to it.

Rikuou apparently got the message and surprisingly enough, their lips parted so that they could breathe. Perhaps he wasn't giving Rikuou enough credit, he thought, especially lately. Despite his horrid teasing, he had never done anything that Kazahaya truly hated or loathed.

"Did you like it?"

That damn smirk…and it was then that Kazahaya realized that to be that good at kissing, Rikuou must have been with someone else, maybe even several someone elses, in the past. It annoyed and bothered him and made him jealous. He pouted, looking away.

"What's the matter? You want another one?"

Rikuou's teasing bothered him even more. Those lips that were so powerful and yet so lovingly gentle on him weren't his alone. He hadn't been the first for Rikuou, no doubt. A guy as handsome as he was had probably had dozens of girlfriends. He hadn't been raised in seclusion with just his sister…

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Stop being so obstinate," Kazahaya snapped angrily and tried to push both Rikuou and Rikuou's leg away, but his partner was having none of it and just pinned his wrists to the wall behind him.

"I'm not the one running away," Rikuou replied, eyes seriously capturing Kazahaya's. He looked a little irritated. "You're not leaving until you tell me exactly what the matter is."

"You can't order me around!"

"Kazahaya!" Then those lips were on his again, but it was an angry kiss. One full of demands, wanting an explanation. He didn't want it, it didn't feel very nice. Well, it did, as it was Rikuou kissing him, but it didn't feel nice at all despite that.

He jerked his mouth away and was surprised to find that tears were pooling in his eyes. "_That's_ what the matter is!" he cried, losing his strength to fight. "You've probably done this so many times already…"

"What, you mean kissing?"

"_Yes!_ That and…you probably did other stuff too…"

Rikuou groaned and dropped his forehead to Kazahaya's shoulder. "My god, for that reason…for that silly reason…"

"It's not silly!" he snapped, blinking back his tears so they didn't fall. "It's a big deal!"

"Kazahaya, you're so silly, but I still love you." Rikuou laughed and lifted his head, giving him several sweet, but short kisses. "I don't deny that I've had a few girlfriends awhile ago, long before I met you. But you are my first _boyfriend_. You will be the first guy I'll ever been with."

"But you—"

"Yes, I had sex once or twice with girls, but you'll be my first guy. You can't compare to them. My feelings for you are so much deeper for them and it was a long time ago, besides. Last girlfriend I had was…" Rikuou's head tilted as he counted something, "I think about four years ago."

Kazahaya's tension slowly slipped from him, allowing himself to be reassured and enjoying the smile that Rikuou had had when he'd kissed him. It had been the first time he'd heard those three words. 'Me too' wasn't the same, not to him.

"Um…Rikuou?"

"Yeah?"

"I, uh…I really have to…you know…go to the, uh…shower…"

Rikuou blinked and looked down where his leg rested between Kazahaya's and a suspicious bulge there. A smirk appeared and he knew that something was coming. "You really wear your desires out for everyone to see, huh?"

"You _jerk!_" Kazahaya snapped, shoving Rikuou away and beating a hasty retreat to the bathroom as Rikuou's laughter followed behind.  
--

For those of you that know Quest For Glory, you'll probably recognize the fairies ;) Anyone ever make the mistake of dancing until you're dead and have to restore? 


	9. Chapter 8

There was little that Kazahaya could do except obsess about that powerful kiss of Rikuou's the day before.

_When he'd stepped out of the shower after making sure that he was presentable and calm, Rikuou had already started dinner. Nothing had honestly changed that he could see, Rikuou teased him as before, but if his partner seemed to be abnormally happy. There seemed to just be this faint air of contentment around him. He only noticed it really because he'd never seen it before._

Before, Rikuou had always had this restless feel to him. It was as if he were a track member, jogging in place impatiently while he waited for the signal to sprint to toward the goal. Most of that hadn't changed, but there was a subtle difference to it all the same. Almost like he wasn't jogging quite so hurriedly.

"I'd undress for you, but it seems your eyes are doing very well on their own," Rikuou taunted him from the kitchen with one of his usual smirks.

Kazahaya realized that he'd been caught staring during his introspection and he flushed bright red. "Jerk," he muttered under his breath and huffily turned away, only to have arms wrap around his shoulders and waist.

His lungs hitched as he felt breath against his ear, causing him to shiver. He'd always known that Rikuou was rather touchy-feely from the moment they met and all the teasing he'd been put through, but this time was different. It **felt** different. Whereas before it had always felt light-hearted, this time it was gentle and warm. Just the simple act itself of being held softly to that warm chest wanted to make him melt.

It made him restless and calm at the same time. Part of him instructed his brain to take advantage of it, do something, but another part was loathe moving at all and just wanted to snuggle deeper just as he was. And whenever those two separate urges conflicted, he did what he usually did: nothing. He neither turned around and kissed his boyfriend, or leaned back and hid deeper into that bigger body.

"What's the matter, Kazahaya?"

That voice was soft in his ears and made him turn even redder, even as he trembled slightly. It was deep throated and powerful, as potent as a hand running down his spine. He could feel it run over every inch of his body as if it was an invisible touch.

But after months of learning not to say what he really thought because Rikuou would tease him came to the forefront and before he could think of something else to say, he blurted out, "Nothing." He couldn't tell him that he didn't know what to do. Couldn't tell him that he felt so happy that he swore what had happened between them wasn't real. **Couldn't** tell him that he loved him so much, that he was so confused about what to do, that he felt as if he was filled with a restless energy that had no outlet.

"I don't believe you." That soft voice had become teasing and a tongue ran over the outer shell of his ear.

It had the opposite effect than Rikuou had intended. Kazahaya trembled, yes, but he exhibited more strength than he looked like he possessed to shove his partner away from him. Rikuou blinked as suddenly his arms were empty and Kazahaya had an expression that seemed like he was torn between fight or flight.

"What the—"

"Sorry, I need a walk," Kazahaya muttered and bolted out the door.

And that was how it still was still a day later. Rikuou apparently had taken it as offensive when he'd run and wasn't even speaking to him. He radiated a deep displeasure and for the life of him, Kazahaya could not figure out why. He would run his mind over what had happened again and again, but he had said nothing that was insulting. All he'd said was that he needed a walk. He had wanted to clear his head, that was all, as the confusing emotions were just too much for him at once.

"Kudou-kun?"

Kazahaya jerked his head up as his boss had found him stacking cold medicine with a listless attitude. He flushed in embarrassment, but there was no hint that it bothered Kakei at all. "Y-yes?"

"Could you come to my office?"

"Should I—"

"Just yourself."

This was good, he thought. Maybe a job would allow him to get his mind away from the boggling confusion. Maybe whatever it was that was bothering Rikuou would be gone when he got back and they could go back to the way it was. He hadn't realized how much it hurt, really, that his roommate was ignoring him. At some point down the line, his teasing had become slightly endearing. It hurt more than he could say now that his entire existence was being denied.

"Sit."

He dropped down on the sofa. "Is there a job?"

"No."

"Then…?"

"I wanted to speak to you. There has been an unreasonable amount of tension between you and Rikuou. He hasn't even spoken to anyone all day."

"Err…"

"What happened?"

"I don't know," he finally admitted with a shrug of his shoulders, looking a little helpless.

"You don't know? But things had been going so well between you two, hadn't they?"

Kazahaya flushed, but figured there was no point in denying to the astute, older man. "Yes, but I still don't know what's bothering him. He just…stopped talking to me after yesterday."

When he recounted what had happened, clarity filled the pretty face before him. "Ah, well it's no wonder."

"What? _What?_ What did I do wrong?"

"You ran away."

"_I didn't run away from the damn jerk!_ I just wanted to clear my head! It's my first time being in a relationship and I don't know what to do!" he spat out angrily, though his irritation was directed at his partner rather than his boss. "And he…well, he sort of scared me."

"Scared?"

"He hasn't changed, but it feels like he has. Whenever he holds me, I don't know what to do. I feel like I should be doing something when he hugs me, but at the same time, I don't want to move. And I can…I can feel his feelings sometimes when he does and they're almost overwhelming. I didn't think…someone could have that much…feeling inside of them."

Kakei smiled reassuringly. "Kudou-kun, don't you have that same amount of feeling? When in love, those always wonder how deeply someone's feelings go, but there comes a point where words are entirely inadequate because there is so much to say and no way to communicate it. But not many people have your gift, Kudou-kun. You just happened to feel the full force of what anyone feels when they're deeply in love."

He wasn't sure if he really understood, but Kakei's expression told him that he didn't expect him to. "Yeah, but…"

"You still don't know why he's angry? It's rather simple, really." Kakei stood from his desk to sit next to the confused youth and touched his head softly, lightly. "You're underestimating Rikuou."

"Underestimating…?"

"Now, I'm just guessing here at what he feels, but the implication that you're scared of Rikuou means to him that you expect him to do something to you that you won't want. It means you don't _trust_ him. And for someone who has spent the entire time you've known each other doing nothing but saving you and caring for you in his own way, this is a big insult."

"But I didn't mean it that way!" he whined, clutching his hair in annoyance.

"I know that, Kudou-kun, but he doesn't. He can't read your mind. If you don't tell him what you're feeling, then how is he supposed to know?"

_But I'm so used to and worried about saying what I really feel that he'll only make fun of me!_ "He'll only yell at me if I tell him, though."

"Yelling or not, that's still a sign of communication, which you and Rikuou aren't very good at yet." Kakei patted him on the shoulder. "Now, you should get back to work and stop looking so dazed. After all, work comes first."

"Y-yes."

Kakei watched as his employee as he trudged out the door and sighed. Really, if there was one flaw in the two young boys' relationship, it was that they didn't talk to each other about what they really felt. The feelings were there, they just didn't get communicated.

"You're just guessing my ass. You know that's exactly what Rikuou feels."

He glanced over his shoulder at Saiga as he had lounged in a darkened corner that a distracted Kazahaya had not noticed. After all, Saiga was just as silent as the shadows he moved through. Kakei smiled a little. "It reminds me of when we were young."

"One difference."

"What's that?"

"I didn't have to say what I thought, you already knew."

"True."

Rikuou still wasn't talking to him that evening. In fact, he wouldn't even look at him. Given what he'd been told earlier, Kazahaya could sort of understand why he was being given the cold shoulder. If Kakei was right, that was, but he had no reason not to think he wasn't. He wasn't all knowing, but he did a damn good job at being right all the time.

"Ne, Rikuou…?"

Silence.

"Um…I'm sorry."

"…"

"I didn't mean it like that, I really didn't…"

Those green eyes shifted to finally look at him, a tad accusingly, and he was starting to get irritated. Sure, maybe Rikuou had a reason to be mad at him, but he wasn't even trying to understand what Kazahaya was going through! He could never tell what he was supposed to do in any given situation and Rikuou wasn't making it any easier! It was hard to tell what was affection and what was teasing, or even if it was supposed to be a strange combination of both.

"Okay, you jerk, listen up!" He wrung his hands together under that cool stare, but wouldn't back down. "I left last night because I was confused, _okay_?! Haven't _you_ ever been confused before?! This whole thing is new to me! _I_ didn't even know what I wanted you to do! So stop glaring at me already and cut me some slack!"

Rikuou slowly stood and approached him. Kazahaya winced when that hand came up, but it only gently cupped the side of his face, drawing them closer. The sweetest kiss he'd ever had yet left him clutching Rikuou's shirt and melting until he thought he didn't even have knees anymore. It fueled in him the same conflicting confusion as the day before of _what the hell did he want_, but was too preoccupied to honestly consider it.

"Idiot."

He bristled, but the word had been said with such warmth that he couldn't fight back. Well, that and the fact that suddenly Rikuou had pulled him into a bone-crushing hug and was diving his tongue in his mouth with a hunger that made Kazahaya flush crimson. Rikuou had pulled him so close that he was barely standing on his tiptoes and clutching onto those strong shoulders for balance.

They stumbled together and Kazahaya found himself once again being pressed against a wall. What was it with Rikuou and walls?! There was a terrible urgency in the kiss and that Adonis-like body was pressed against him so tightly that he thought that even when they broke away, he'd been unable to breathe. Short of…_that_, there was no way for them to be physically closer, at least not to Kazahaya's knowledge.

His boyfriend pulled away for a few seconds, but it was not nearly enough for Kazahaya to recover and say something before his lips were attacked. This time when his tongue forced its way in, it elicited moans expertly from his nearly virgin lips. He was so dazed he barely registered the fact that unlike his first kiss, hands were roving over his body, as if trying to memorize his shape in a way that he'd never seen before.

It was making his cheeks glow red and even more confused as to what he wanted. The intensity was frightening him and at the same time, thrilling. For such a powerful person as Rikuou was, it was exhilarating to realize that he had caused this lack of composure, this passion. All because of him.

"Rik-mmph-Rikuou-mmmphhhh-sto-mmmmph-Rik 

uou, stop!"

For a moment, he thought Rikuou wouldn't stop, but a gasp as they pulled away proved that he was indeed not in any danger of dying of asphyxiation just yet. The expression on Rikuou's face made him shudder. It was discomposed, green eyes filled a wanting that Kazahaya vaguely recognized in himself too. They were both out of breath and Rikuou was just so, so close…

"You see?"

"Wh…huh?" he muttered unintelligently, trying to get his brain to fire again in the right directions for speech after those mind blowing kisses.

"All you have to do is say stop and I will, no matter what. I'm waiting until you know what it is you really want. I'm _not_ a beast."

Kazahaya blushed, swallowing tightly when he realized that every breath he took made his chest rub against Rikuou's as the bigger boy pressed so close to him. He looked away, hands shaking on his boyfriend's broad shoulders, and realized just how safe he felt. He felt dwarfed in size, huddled in an overwhelming warmth and protection. No fear could touch him when Rikuou had his arms around him.

"Just…don't look like that," Rikuou groaned, dropping his head to Kazahaya's slim shoulder.

"H-Huh?"

"Don't tempt my resolve with that expression. You're just too sexy like that."

"R-Rikuou!"

"I did promise not to do anything to you that you wouldn't want. I intend to stick to that no matter what, but just…don't test me too hard, okay?"

Kazahaya turned red again, the thought that he had nearly made this boy who he had always vaguely envied at how good he was at everything lose control bombarded his brain.

Slowly, Rikuou let him go, but Kazahaya's knees nearly buckled on him and he was halfway to sliding down the wall before he caught himself. The action only made Rikuou smirk, the bastard, as if he was pleased with the reaction that his kisses had caused.

"Wh-where are you going?" he demanded as his partner turned to leave him.

"To take a cold shower…unless you'd like to help me with this little problem?"

Like he intended, Kazahaya stood fully up and screeched, "_RIKUOU, YOU PERVERT!_"

That smirk became an intense leer and he said seriously, "But make no mistake, Kazahaya. Eventually it will happen and when it does, you'll be screaming my name in ecstasy, not anger."

He shivered, mouth opening and closing as he frantically tried to come up with a retort. Apparently satisfied, Rikuou continued down the hall to the bathroom. A moment later, he heard the water running and he slumped to the ground. The thought of making dinner was far from his mind.


	10. Chapter 9

Rikuou wasn't sure whether to call this a date or one of Kakei's side jobs, to tell the truth. They were headed to yet _again_ another movie theater, which he wasn't thrilled about. Ever since the last one they'd been in and Kazahaya had been sick and passed out, he had a very strong feeling that he didn't want to have _anything_ to do with theaters ever again.

_"There is a movie theater going out of business and I've sent the address to your cellphones. Just watch the movie and wait till everyone leaves. Something will appear once it's done. It's such a simple job, you can even consider it a date." Knowing smile._

_'Knowing smile', my ass. What is that man planning at our expense?_

Kazahaya was obviously leaning toward it's more of 'a date' line of thought, because there was a perpetual blush on his cheeks as they walked the whole way toward where the theater was located. True to Kakei's descriptions, the theater had very few people going in and it did look as if was just fading into the oblivion of time. One of those things that people pass every day but never take notice of had been this theater's downfall.

"Rikuou…"

"What?"

"Only couples are going in."

"So?"

"Only couples are going in," he repeated.

Rikuou smirked a little. Kazahaya was still skittish about their relationship. Things that others too for granted, for example considering themselves a couple, he didn't. It was refreshing, in a strange and warped way. It meant that he had so much he could tease him about, like this.

He leaned down and whispered into that sweet ear that just begged to be nibbled on, "But Kazahaya, we _are_ a couple."

It was amusing to watch Kazahaya blush so deeply his ears turned red and he jerked away automatically from their overly close position. "Jerk…"

He slung an arm over the slim shoulders and dragged him back into his embrace before approaching the ticket stand and paying for both of them, despite Kazahaya's protests. He didn't miss the fact that the attendant who handed the stubs over had a glazed-over gaze and barely said a word. In fact, all the workers seemed to be like that. It, no doubt, had something to do with what they were going to be getting that night.

Even though there were plenty of places he could have chosen to sit them, he picked one of the back ones, far from the screen. Kazahaya didn't seem to notice anything past the point that he'd draped an arm over his shoulder outside and he couldn't help another smirk. Really, it was just too easy to make this boy blush.

The movie began, but he paid it little attention, unlike Kazahaya who actually tried to watch it as best he could despite the distraction of Rikuou's warmth. What was there to pay attention to? The plot was cliché, the actors sub par, and the music dull, but Kazahaya seemed to enjoy it more than anyone else would have.

It brought the thought to the forefront of what little hints both Kazahaya and Kakei had dropped about the smaller boy's past. He didn't know who this 'Kei' was. Placing a bet on a family member, whether he was sure about the fact or not, seemed like a good idea. Either way, given their job at that mountain school had made some things very clear: Kazahaya had been in a very sheltered environment before Rikuou had found him.

What had possessed him to leave? It obviously had something to do with this 'Kei' person. And though he'd never admit it, he found himself unreasonably jealous. The cat they'd chased that one time had shown them the person they wanted to meet the most and Kazahaya had called out 'Kei'. Was that still true? Was he going to be fighting against a memory to get Kazahaya's full attention?

Hypocrite he may be, given his own situation with Tsukiko, but Kazahaya was doing one helluva job at keeping his concentration. He had never forgotten about her, of course not, but he found that he didn't feel the crushing weight of it that much lately. It had gotten somewhat lighter and when he thought about why that was, the only thing that came to him was Kazahaya's image.

"Ne, Rikuou…" Kazahaya whispered and he blinked, glancing down at the boy that his arm had made snuggle close to his side.

"What?"

"You're…thinking about me…a lot."

_Ah…_ He couldn't tell if he smirked or smiled and leaned down his head to nuzzle that soft hair. Sometimes he couldn't tell if it was supposed to be blonde or light brown. Though its color seemed to change at the will of Kazahaya's mood, if Rikuou felt like being whimsical to put it like that, the texture of it never did. Was it because of the shampoo or because that was just _Kazahaya_ for you?

"Is that a problem? Others _complain_ when they're not in the forefront of their lover's thoughts all the time."

At being called lovers, Kazahaya couldn't even look at him anymore and Rikuou thought he had never seen something so adorable in all his life. Really, it made him want to drag the boy up into his lap and kiss him senseless and maybe do some _other_ stuff.

But Kazahaya was sweet where he was bitter; soft where he was hard. There was a very specific way of loving Kazahaya and he was learning it all. Some things he knew instinctively of what to do and what not to do, but others, he only found out after stumbling on a landmine that proved to be a very bad misstep to make. And one of the _biggest_ no-no's to loving Kazahaya was rushing him. If he rushed him, Kazahaya would only run away.

He didn't want Kazahaya to go anywhere. Especially to places Rikuou couldn't follow him to.

And though he didn't expect to, the movie was terrible and the chairs uncomfortable, he found that he wasn't bored. Kazahaya was never boring and he enjoyed constantly thinking about him and watching the changing expressions on his boyfriend's face.

Kazahaya seemed mildly disappointed when it ended, but Rikuou didn't really care either way. He withdrew his arm once the rest of the couples had gone and headed down toward the screen where the movie had been played on. Kazahaya jogged to catch up to him, almost tripping. For a cat, he had terrible balance on most things, but when it came to things that no one would think of doing, he was beautiful to behold.

There was a tiny glow in the center of the huge, huge screen. It was like a small, shining star and it hovered as it separated itself from the material. For a moment, he began to wonder how they were going to get it, since it was so high above them, but then it began to crystallize. The hard body it created fell through the air as gravity attacked it and landed with a plunk in Kazahaya's hands.

Almost instantly, Kazahaya began to crumple to the floor and he barely managed to catch him in time. His partner would pitch a fit if he didn't, since the floor was absolutely _filthy_.

"Idiot," he whispered and grabbed the trinket from limp fingers. It was a broach, in the shape of a movie reel, one of those tacky things that you'd find in any dime store that cost less than ten dollars. Tossing the unconscious boy over his shoulder, he turned to leave the theater. On the way out, he noticed that the employees had all disappeared. The lights had gone out entirely and it had a depressing, sad feel to it. With a shake of his head at it all, he decided to head back to Kakei.

So much for a date.

Saiga had been relegated to manning the till while the little errand boys were gone. He normally didn't care either way, but this time, Kakei had forbidden him to sleep, which annoyed him a tad. There were a few things that Saiga loved beyond anything else: Kakei, sleeping _with_ Kakei, and sleeping period.

He yawned a little, propping his feet up on the edge of the counter as he lounged in the not-exactly-comfortable chair and watched the door. Kakei had said that when the boys returned, they would close up shop. Well, he wished they'd get there sooner, as he had to get back to their home before Kakei. After all, he had a cake to make and candles to set up.

Saiga never forgot their anniversary.

The door swung open, interrupting his thoughts on the various other things he'd have to put out to make it all perfect, and he grinned like the Cheshire cat. Kazahaya was bright red and Rikuou had the satisfied smirk of someone who had just had their cake and ate it too. It was a little disconcerting and at the same time amusing to watch them. It was like going back in time to watch his younger self, only more fun this time.

In fact, he thought with a faint pout, Rikuou seemed to have a whole lot more fun since Kakei had always _known_ when he was going to be teasing him. It was the only time that he'd ever disliked his lover's ability. After all, it's not at all fun if the person knows you're going to do it even before you do, right?

"Well, well. Why's your face so red, boy? Make out with your boyfriend here while you were there?"

Kazahaya turned even redder and he raised his eyebrows at the spluttering that ensued. "_Saiga-san_! Of course we didn't, we watched the movie and got what we were sent for!"

That was odd. "So, you didn't sit in the back, back row?"

The young boy seemed puzzled while the grin on Rikuou's face grew larger, as if anticipating what reaction there'd be when he found out. Really, sometimes Rikuou bordered on cruel, he thought in amusement.

"Yes, we did. But why does where we sit matter?"

"Silly little kitten," he responded and laughed. "In theaters, the back rows are usually reserved for couples that make out. Hell, Kakei and me, we almost went all the way one time. You mean you didn't notice others doing that around you?" Kazahaya was looking mortified and Saiga could see clearly why Rikuou enjoyed teasing him. He leaned forward with something like a leer. "What were _you_ doing that kept you that occupied?"

"Watching the movie, damn it!" the boy screeched, sending the most poisonous glance he could at his partner, and turned to rush up the stairs and toward their apartment.

"His face was so red, I thought he'd burst a blood vessel," Saiga commented with another hearty laugh and looked back at Rikuou, who was shaking with silent laughter.

"Do have pity on poor Kudou-kun, Saiga. After all, he already has someone who does that to him all day every day."

Saiga smiled when Kakei came up behind him and draped an arm around his shoulders. He leaned his head back against that slim chest as Rikuou and his lover began talking about the little job they'd just been through.

"You retrieved the broach? Thank you, Rikuou. I will give you and Kudou-kun your payments tomorrow."

Rikuou nodded, seeming not interested in knowing anything more and disappeared out of the store to the apartment. Saiga, however, was filled with a terrible curiosity. He rolled his eyes up to peer at his partner, who was looking intently at the item he'd been handed.

"So what's up with that?"

"This? It belonged to the woman who had established the theater when she was very young, barely out of her twenties. Her and her lover worked on it together. He had given this to her and she treasured it since she loved movies. Their feelings for each other and the theater embedded itself into this little broach. But it wasn't more than two years into its time that her lover died. So distraught over it, she couldn't bear to go near it again. The broach was left behind by accident. Still rooted in the feelings the two possessed, it upheld the theater. Even when the employees quit, it conjured more."

"Sadly romantic. Why'd you send them for it?"

"The woman, old now and reclusive, had been informed that a development company wanted the land it was on to build a new store. The theater only held old memories for her by this time and was willing to sell it to them. However, she wanted the broach back before it was demolished."

"She know that the broach was playing the movies and keeping up the theater with non-existent people?"

"I think she suspected it. That's why she came to me."

"Heh." Saiga dropped his feet off the counter and stood, leaving a long and slow kiss on Kakei's forehead. "I'll head home first, all right?"

"All right." 


	11. Chapter 10

Kazahaya curled in the little corner he'd found in the alleyway to avoid most of the rain and sighed. He wished Rikuou would find him soon, as he was beginning to freeze. He breathed on his icy fingers and knew he had made a stupid mistake. He should have been paying attention, but it wasn't his fault! If Rikuou hadn't teased him like that, he wouldn't have stumbled backwards onto the alarms.

It seemed like he was getting in trouble a lot recently. The last job that Kakei had given them had gone smoothly, even if that pin had caused him to pass out with the strong memories. Given that, he thought he deserved some credit, but then Rikuou had to treat him like a baby, saying that if he ever got lost to just stay put and he would find him.

_Great job he's doing of **that** right now! I should go back home now. I think I can find the way, if I try._

However, the pouring rain deterred such a thing. It may have been nearing only the middle of the day, but it was raining so hard that it looked like it was night. It had been perfectly sunny out when they'd left. Maybe it was because he'd been working for Kakei too long that he wondered if maybe it was an unnatural occurrence this time around.

He rubbed slightly tired eyes. Sleep hadn't been all that restful lately. He would have either intense dreams of Kei, which left him waking in a cold sweat, or have dreams of Rikuou. The latter option he was glad didn't come with any extra explicit content, as he wasn't entirely sure…how men had sex.

_That is something I will **never** tell Rikuou. If I do, he'll tease me forever about being naïve!_

Kei. He honestly and truly missed her. Until he'd left her and met Rikuou, Kakei, and Saiga, she had been his only friend. She had been his constant, even in a world that was completely unchanged. He could remember her sad smile, her fear that he would disappear. He had assured her many times he would stay by her side, but he had broken that promise, hadn't he?

Before, he would have had no hesitation in saying that he would have gone back to Kei and the place he'd left. Now, he was not so sure. If he left to go back to Kei, he would have to leave Rikuou, wouldn't he? The idea that he could have them both never entered his thoughts. He knew with a bone-deep certainty that it was one or the other, but never both.

Who did he want more? He honestly didn't know anymore.

"Hey! You're going to freeze to death there!"

Rikuou's voice interrupted his contemplation and he leapt to his feet to head towards the faint darkened blob that was Rikuou. Even when they were practically nose-to-nose, the rain was coming down so thickly he couldn't see any details.

"You okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine. Let's just go home."

They had to shout over the downpour, but as his hand slipped into Rikuou's and he twined their fingers together, his confusion melted away into the back of his mind. He didn't think he could ever go back to where Kei was. He didn't even know where that was anymore. So there was nothing to do about it, and if there was nothing to do about it, then why think about it? Right then, the only thing that mattered was being with Rikuou.

_"Kudou-kun is looking paler lately."_

"You think it's because of that?"

"I can't see why it wouldn't be." Kakei sighed. "He had been doing so well here that I thought it would have faded away by now."

"Well, it only got worse after he and Rikuou started dating."

"Yes, but Rikuou should be the antidote for that completely."

"Hmmm…you think maybe it's because there's just a little bit of confusion in their relationship that's making him regress?"

"I honestly don't know, but at the rate it's going, we may lose him completely."

Rikuou was sure he hadn't been meant to hear that conversation. He frowned and glanced in the direction of the shower, where his roommate was. He had noticed that Kazahaya had been a little pale in the mornings, but he acted the same as usual. Maybe he had just pushed his worry to the back of his mind. Maybe he had just _hoped_ it was nothing.

But what _regress_? There wasn't much to regress to. Kazahaya was Kazahaya, no matter how he looked at it. And _what_ would have faded away by now? Was this somehow related to why he'd come to the drugstore in the first place? Possibly even this 'Kei'?

"Rikuou, hasn't anyone ever told you that if you frown too much, your face will get stuck like that?"

He glanced up at Kazahaya, wearing a pair of pants and rubbing his hair dry with a towel. His eyes took in the long expanse of pale skin of his chest and smirked. Before his boyfriend could react, he'd shot a hand out and dragged the surprised teen into his lap. Happily, his lips clamped down on the ones that he adored making flushed and full with kisses.

And he prayed even as Kazahaya melted into it and returned each hint of passion for passion, that they were _all_ wrong about Kazahaya. That Kazahaya wouldn't regress to anything and he would stay the same loveable boy he was.

As usual, he left their "making out" as just intense kisses. He wanted more, craved more, but restrained himself as best he could. The only way he allowed himself to release that sort of passion was through these kisses that stole Kazahaya's breath away. Arms wrapped around that slim, half-dressed figure and curled the boy into his arms tightly, wishing nothing more than to stay like that until he no longer had air to breathe.

_Please, please, let Kakei be wrong, just this once._

But his prayer was not to be and it was becoming all too obvious that there was something seriously wrong. It was getting harder to wake Kazahaya up in the mornings and it had nothing to do with his methods. Even when he startled his roommate or dropped something on him, the outburst was only half the strength it should be and didn't last very long. It was strange how he had ended up measuring normality. Such a thing had become ingrained as "normal" for him and when it didn't happen, that was "unnatural".

And then one day, Kazahaya didn't wake up at all.

His fingers hadn't even paused in punching in Kakei's number. He might end up thinking that his employers were a bit strange and cruel occasionally, but they also probably were the only ones that knew what was going on. And things _had_ been going a little too well lately. That should have tipped him off right there.

_"Rikuou?"_

"Yeah, it's me. Kazahaya isn't waking up."

_"…Looks like it's happened. I'd hoped you would prevent this."_

"If you had told me what it is that I was supposed to prevent, then this might not have happened," he spat back uncharitably and glanced over his shoulder at the boy on the bed. He appeared just as quietly asleep as always, there was no hint of pain on his face, but it just screamed abnormal to him all the same.

_"Saiga and I will be there in a few minutes."_

"I'm not working today."

_"I know. The store will be closed today. This is a very big problem."_

_You're telling me, you sadist!_ he thought and snapped his cellphone shut. He could not deny that part of his antagonism came from the fact that he felt totally and utterly useless. His powers were physical, affected physical objects. He could not touch Kazahaya and know what was going on. He could not just wave his hand and make everything better.

Just like he had said, Kakei and Saiga were there and coming in without even knocking. Not that Rikuou really cared. His green eyes were filled with displeasure as he watched his boss and his boss' lover examine his boyfriend. It was obviously not because of a job, as he would have noticed a lot sooner. Not to mention the two's secretive conversations.

He'd never honestly cared before about where their clients came from, nor the things he was asked to go get or do. So long as he found out about Tsukiko, then what did it matter? It was only after Kazahaya had come into his life that he began to ask more questions. Began to care about what it is they were getting into. Wanted to know all the possibilities that could happen to Kazahaya with the kind of gift that he had.

"What's going on?"

"Has Kudou-kun never told you about his sister?"

Rikuou shrugged. "Nothing from his own mouth. I know what I've pieced together from hints and what he says without meaning to. He doesn't want to talk about it."

"And you won't push either, will you, kid?" Saiga commented and shoved his hands in his pockets. The habitual smile on his face was nowhere to be found. "Then again, I don't blame you. You don't want to talk about Tsukiko, so it wouldn't be right to ask about the kid's sister."

"We're not talking about Tsukiko here," he warned. "I want to know what happened to Kazahaya."

"Keep yourself calm," Kakei cautioned, a bit dangerously himself, at Rikuou's belligerence. "I realize you're worried, but don't blame us for your frustrations."

Rikuou very well wanted to blame them and partly did, but given that Kakei was a very dangerous man and could make his life living hell for awhile, he only gritted his teeth and bore with it. "So what's going on?"

Kakei gestured to Saiga and the bigger man sat on the edge of the bed, eyes fixed on the slimmer boy. "Tough walls there, love," he commented to the seer. "But they're not always there. They dip in and out. The kid's confused, really confused, and torn between his sis and Rikuou."

"Saiga has a telepathic ability," Kakei explained off-hand to Rikuou. "This is how we know what we do about Kei, Kazahaya's sister."

"So? What does she have to do with this?"

Saiga looked away after another minute from the sleeping boy. "He's trapped in his own mind. Has been for a very long time, actually. Even Kazahaya himself doesn't know it." The bigger man scratched his head. "It took the entire time we've known the kid for me to find out what really happened to bring him here. His subconscious knows it, but the rest of his mind decided to keep it under wraps so it couldn't harm the conscious part of him."

"So he purposely forgot whatever it was?"

"In a way," he answered. "Maybe he never knew it at all." Saiga shrugged. "His sister is dead, has been for a very long while now. First off, both Kazahaya and Kei had strong abilities. I'm not sure what Kei's was, he's gotten that all messed up in other stuff. Anyway, she was a weak girl, really, but she also knew her brother's devotion. She worried about him and messed his mind a little. So when she died, there'd still be a part of her in him to comfort him. She didn't do it to be malicious, but it had the backwards effect I think she intended it to have."

Saiga glanced down at the boy who rolled over in his sleep and curled up into a tiny ball. There was no smile on his face, as if he were having a pleasant dream, but nor did it seem like he was having an unpleasant one either. It was like he wasn't even there at all anymore and Rikuou's heart constricted painfully. He wanted to know right then, but Saiga only got to where he was going on his own time and rushing wouldn't help.

"Needless to say, when she died, Kazahaya shut down. His mind ended up building a little 'dream world' for himself with Kei in it. Thanks to her little messing around, it was as real as could be and nobody could get him out of it. He was that way for years, hospitalized."

"Shouldn't his muscles have atrophied, though, if he was hospitalized?"

"No, he wasn't in a coma. See, you saw it. He turned over in his sleep. Besides, nowadays for someone like him where doctors find it possible to get someone out of something like this, they have physical therapists take care of the patient. Anyway, I'm still not sure what forced Kazahaya out of his dream world. I can't find that out, maybe even he doesn't know. Either way, he woke up a few months ago. I don't know if his parents are looking for him or not or even if they visited him. He doesn't even know because from the time his sister died up until he woke up, he was in his dream world and thought that was reality."

"How'd he get out of the hospital?"

"Genius, gotta say," Saiga commented. "He was frantic when he woke up and didn't know where he was. Well, when you're in that state, instincts kinda take over and your mind works with a clarity that you'd never expect. He borrowed some clothes while an orderly was changing and just walked out the door. He wandered a bit and that's when you found him in the snow."

Kakei, who had been silent and staring with contemplation at Kazahaya, finally asked, "So what caused a relapse?"

"Big guy over here," Saiga replied, pointing at Rikuou.

When both their eyes fixed on him, Rikuou's gaze became harder and less forgiving. "I didn't do a damn thing to him that he didn't want."

"I never suspected you did," Kakei murmured and turned back to his lover. "What was it about Rikuou that did this?"

"The kid's sensitive, more sensitive than we think. When he's confused, he'll go to sleep and let his mind go back to that little pocket where he feels his sister's presence to calm him. She only intended the damn thing to be there until he found someone he loved just as much as her. It was _supposed_ to fade away. But skinny here is just scared, period. He really loves the big lug he calls his roommate. He wants to do more, albeit he's not sure what more _is_, naïve as he is, but he's also afraid of the depth of it all. As his confusion got worse, he finally retreated to that little 'dream world' he had. It's like he's asking his sister what to do."

"Only she can't answer because her personality isn't there," Kakei finished and Saiga nodded.

"It's just a presence in his mind to calm him, a feeling of what she once was. His sister isn't there and never was."

"Regardless, how do we get him back?" Rikuou interrupted. It was all well and good to know the problem, but it didn't help his state of mind at all. He wanted to hit Kazahaya. This was just like every other time that Kazahaya had gotten him angry. He didn't trust him to tell him anything about what was going on in his head. If he had just _talked_ to him, this probably wouldn't have happened.

_Stupid idiot! You can't always run away from your problems!_

Saiga and Kakei exchanged glances. "Well," Saiga muttered, ruffling his hair in a motion that Rikuou took to mean he was upset or nervous, "we don't know." 


	12. Chapter 11

Rikuou hadn't dared leave Kazahaya's side, lest the boy come back from his little dream world. If he had been more worried than annoyed, he probably wouldn't have left the room to take the necessary showers and eat. Maybe the situation hadn't quite hit him yet, because all he could think about was that when they got Kazahaya back, he was going to give him _such_ a lecture…!

It had been two days and there was still little change. Rikuou leaned in the doorway and watched the sleeping, peaceful form and his fingers twitched spasmodically as he fought the urge to make a fist and hit something. His eyes trailed the back of Kazahaya's t-shirt as he slept, knowing where every faint scar was from the time he'd been whipped. Did that have a part to play in the current situation? What about when he thought Tsukiko was more important than himself? Or was he trying to make connections that weren't there at all?

Kazahaya made a sleepy sound, but unlike before when he first heard it, it did not make him jump and rush to the bed. Kakei was doing his own version of helping by talking to his friends. Rikuou hoped one of those friends was a psychologist or even a god, so that _something_ could be done.

Rikuou honestly hated feeling useless. Saiga had come and gone every few hours and tried to penetrate Kazahaya's strange defenses, but had come up with little that might coax the boy out of his self-induced coma.

Could Kazahaya hear him? Now wasn't that a loaded question. No doubt his ears would register the sounds, but if the mind was trapped and locked away, what did it matter? If it would help, he'd have said anything necessary, even embarrassing things as 'I love you' again and again. If it would help.

Rikuou sat on the edge of the bed and touched the soft hair that splayed across the pillow like strands of silk. Even in his sleep, Kazahaya turned his head toward his touch until he was resting his cheek against the bigger boy's palm. A bitter smile touched Rikuou's lips. His mind may have gone to where Rikuou couldn't reach, but his body was still there and his instincts still looked to him.

It was little consolation, but still…

Kazahaya's eyes snapped open from his sleep and he groaned, rubbing gritty eyes. There was a presence next to him, one he knew very well, so he wasn't alarmed when said person leaned right in his personal space.

"Morning, Kei."

"It's afternoon, brother."

"Huh?" Kazahaya blinked and looked around him. The sky seemed almost too blue and the sun in it too bright as it smiled down on the world below. He was on some sort of hill with vibrant green grass as wide as the ocean beneath him. It swayed in a gentle breeze and it was nice and warm here.

The green was reminding him of something…someone's eyes…

"Are you all right, Kazahaya?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Kazahaya reassured his sister when she touched his arm in worry. "I guess it was just a dream."

"What was a dream?"

"I…don't know," he answered honestly and leaned back against the tree trunk that he had used for shade.

"Did it feel bad?"

"No…and yes. Some parts, I think, were really, really good. But then there were others that felt really bad."

"And you don't remember any part of the dream?"

"No. And when I try, it's like something's warning me not to."

Kei didn't say anything for a minute before she cuddled up against his side and rested her head on his shoulder. "Well, then you probably shouldn't know. Your subconscious mind is telling you to protect yourself."

"Really?"

"That's what Papa always says when I can't remember my dreams and I think I'm not sure if I want to. You're not supposed to know. You're not meant to."

"…Ne, Kei. Do we know anyone who has green eyes?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

"…Nothing."

Why would it not leave him? He could not take his eyes off the grass that he lounged on. It had such a vibrancy of color. If he stared long enough at it, it almost seemed like the individual strands of grass would change its shape, mold itself, to look like a pair of intense, green eyes that pierced straight through him and left him wanting to quake for so many feelings that he couldn't put names to.

And yet those eyes also made him afraid as much as he wanted to see them more. Was this part of the dream he'd had? Residue still left behind from his subconscious about the dream? Kei seemed to be napping, but Kazahaya didn't want to sleep. He was afraid that if he did, he'd dream again and maybe get caught in it. He couldn't remember what it was about, but it had been _so real_.

He wanted those green eyes…

"Kazahaya!"

"What's the matter, Kei?"

"You're not paying attention!" She pouted, like he knew she would, and he thought with brotherly pride that she really was adorable. Whoever she chose would be very, very lucky.

"I am too," he lied, but he knew that he hadn't been paying attention. Whatever she had said had gone in one ear and out the other. Why did he get the feeling that though he'd spent years here by her side that it was almost like a reunion? As if he'd been gone…

"You've been distracted lately. Are you still thinking about that dream?"

Her worried voice made him feel so guilty. He was afraid to sleep, that he would have that dream, but part of him longed to have it and to escape to it. He'd never felt so confused before in his life.

"Do you remember anything more?"

"Green eyes," he finally admitted and was a little disturbed by the amount of attention Kei was paying to him when he began to talk. "I remember someone's green eyes. Other than that, all the rest is just feelings."

"What sort of feelings?"

Kazahaya sighed and scratched his head. "Well, when I think about the someone with green eyes, I just get this feeling that…I felt safe there but at the same time, they scared me for some reason. And that's it. There's really nothing else."

Kei frowned and he remembered her worries that he would just disappear like his name. He wanted to reach out and hug her, reassure her that he wouldn't be going anywhere, like he usually did, but the words were stuck in his throat this time. His eyes shifted guiltily away from her, but she didn't notice.

"If you really wanted to know, Kazahaya, you could go to talk to Papa about it. Papa said that there's supposed to be this thing called hypnosis."

"What is it?" he asked, fascinated despite himself.

"I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention when he was talking, but you could ask him. We were talking about dreams at the time, so it has be related to that sort of stuff."

But Kazahaya wasn't sure he wanted to know what his dream was. Every time he slept, he dreamt of it. And though he hadn't told her, he was remembering more every time he dreamed and woke up afterwards. There were three people, or perhaps he was just dreaming of the green-eyed someone three times. But three was a very important number. _Three_. What it meant, though, he still didn't know.

He lost track of time when he was with Kei. Three days could have passed or three years, and it wouldn't have mattered. He smiled and laughed and played with Kei. She would create rings of garlands for him to wear and sing when he asked her to. She would beg for stories and he would make them up on the spot and tell her until she was crying for a sad story or laughing with a happy one.

He'd never thought that these days would come to an end. In fact, he was in the middle of an afternoon nap, his head pillowed on his sister's lap, when the stranger came. She had stirred him a little until he blinked sleepily and glanced up. They were tall, towering, and wore all black. It was strange to wear such a trenchcoat on such a warm day and he stood out because of the color he wore. It was like he was sucking away all the vibrancy of blues, greens, and reds into a black abyss.

_"I'm through!"_

_"Are you serious, Saiga?"_

"Hey, boy."

It was the first time Kazahaya had met anyone besides his family in years. He lifted his hand to shade his eyes from the sun and noticed that the other man would have no problem, since he wore thick sunglasses. "Who are you?"

Kei's hands began to shake on his shoulder and he sat up, looking at her curiously. Well, he was a big man, so perhaps that was why she was afraid. He wasn't, for some reason. He knew, strangely enough, that this person wouldn't hurt him. He didn't know how or why he knew, or even why he believed it. By all rights, he shouldn't think this way of a stranger.

Then again, he didn't feel like a stranger.

"You know who I am."

_No, I don't_ was what he was going to say, but the words that came out of his mouth said, "Saiga?" He didn't know where the name came from. It was just there on his lips. And with the same bone-deep certainty he'd had before that he knew this man would not hurt him, he knew that this name belonged to the adult that towered over his sister and he.

"Glad to see you still remember me. Now come on, he's waiting for you."

"Who is?"

_"What's happening?"_

_"Saiga, can you bring him out?"_

This man, Saiga, leaned down and tapped on his cheek, right underneath his eyes and grinned widely. "The boy with the green eyes."

How had he known that he'd dreamed of someone with green eyes? So it was a boy and not a girl? But it felt right all the same. So when Saiga reached out his hand, waiting for Kazahaya to take it, before he knew what was happening, he had reached out his own.

Until Kei gripped his other arm tightly and brought him back to reality and out of the dream-like state he'd been in as he stared fixedly at Saiga. "Kazahaya, don't! You don't know who this man is!"

"I don't, but I do."

"That's not an answer, Kazahaya! You shouldn't go!"

"But I want to…"

"You promised you'd never leave me, Kazahaya!" she screeched, clinging to his arm tightly and crying. "You promised that you'd stay here with me, forever! Don't go now, please don't go! If you go, you can't come back!"

Kazahaya didn't know what Kei meant and he opened his mouth to reassure her…about something, when Saiga interrupted. "She's right, once you leave, you can't come back. And you're running out of time, kid. _I'm_ running out of time. So who's it gonna be? Your sister or Rikuou?"

Rikuou. Rikuou. Rikuou. That name sounded so familiar and so right…His hand, still hovering in midair, continued towards Saiga's outstretched hand, even as Kei's crying became more pronounced and her hold on his arm tighter. She was begging, begging him not to go.

"I'm sorry, Kei. I'm so sorry."

"_Why_, why do you have to go?! You're breaking your promise!"

"I can't help it, Kei, but I have to go. He's waiting for me!"

"_Who's_ waiting for you?"

Kazahaya paused, but it didn't take long to voice an answer that his mind couldn't find. "Someone I love." 


	13. Chapter 12

Kazahaya blinked his eyes slowly and rolled over on his bed. When his eyes focused, he noticed that he was the object of some very intense scrutiny. "Kakei-san? Saiga-san? Rikuou? What are you all doing here?" he asked curiously and tried to sit up, but his head swam and he felt weak with the dizziness.

Rikuou pushed away Saiga, who seemed a bit tired for some reason and was sitting on the edge of the bed. The green eyes that stared at him were angry, hurt, frustrated, and oh-so-glad. For a second, Kazahaya wondered if Rikuou had lost his mind and was going to start hitting him. Then arms latched around his shoulders and he was dragged into a bone-breaking hug.

"Wh-What's going on? Why do I feel so weak?"

"You were asleep for two and a half day without anything to eat, stupid!" Rikuou shot back, but his voice shaky and filled with relief.

"Huh?"

When Rikuou lifted his head, obviously ready to say something more, Kakei touched his shoulder and shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Kudou-kun. So long as you're better now. You are, right?"

"I guess so," he answered with bafflement. "Other than the fact that I'm starving and slightly dizzy, I'm fine."

Saiga didn't say a word, which was unlike him, and slowly got up from the bed as if he were either a very old man or very, very tired. He walked leisurely to the door, but Kazahaya could see that he obviously was going to be heading toward the nearest soft surface to sleep. He acted as if he had a deep, bone-weariness to him. Kakei followed a moment later with another pat on Rikuou's arm.

Kazahaya tried squirming out from Rikuou's arms, but they were like a vise. His boyfriend's head had fallen back down to his shoulder and there was no mistaking that the whole body of the bigger boy was full of tension. Not sure what the hell everyone was so upset about, he awkwardly patted Rikuou's shoulder. He'd just went to bed as usual, what was the big deal in that?

"Come on, Rikuou, let me go, okay? I'm starving…" he muttered, hoping that if he spoke very gently, whatever was controlling Rikuou wouldn't slip and he wouldn't find himself on the end of a lecture for whatever imaginative crime he was supposed to have committed this time.

"Kazahaya…" He barely had time to register the amount of longing and love in that tone of voice before Rikuou's lips were on his without a second thought. Kazahaya made a 'meep' sort of sound when Rikuou forcefully pressed his tongue in the smaller boy's mouth. "I missed you," his boyfriend whispered only when they were forced to break apart for air and even then, he was being kissed senseless only seconds later.

Kazahaya didn't understand what was bothering Rikuou, but Rikuou's passionate intensity was infecting him. Soon he found his trembling arms wrapping around broader shoulders tightly, not even caring that suddenly he was pressed heavily down on the bed. It was scary, feeling pinned, but at the same time, desire rose and coiled at his loins. Even if it hadn't been for the kiss, Rikuou's almost bruising hug on him would have kept him breathless.

It was only when he moaned in need and began to squirm, his slightly growing erection brushing across his boyfriend's nearby leg, that Rikuou pulled away from the frantic and deep kisses they had shared. Kazahaya's eyes were dazed and he had long forgotten about food.

"Wha…?"

Rikuou looked as if he badly wanted to say something to him, but was masterfully restraining himself. He also looked as if he desperately wanted more, but knew that Kazahaya was in no state to decide what he wanted at that particular moment. In a strange, tender moment, Kazahaya watched as Rikuou reached out to gently touch his hair.

"Don't go anywhere I can't follow, okay?" the boy whispered before he stood up and was out of the room.

Kazahaya propped himself up on his elbows and could only wonder what the hell he had just missed.

Kakei was indeed a sadist, Rikuou thought bitterly. He had a long lecture on the tip of his tongue for Kazahaya. Indeed, he'd been stewing for two days to say it while Kazahaya had recovered from his weakness of lack of food. However, Kakei had forbidden him to mention or even explain what had happened.

_"We don't want a repeat of what happened, because if it happens again, we will **never** get him back. Besides, at this point, I think the knowledge of what he was subconsciously doing would do more harm than good."_

Saiga's only contribution had been as he finished his all day nap, recovering from his telepathic efforts, _"Take him on a real date."_

So that was what he was doing, waiting outside the closed drug store doors that night for his boyfriend. He had thought they had been doing well in their relationship, but obviously they hadn't been, if it had been bad enough that Kazahaya had retreated back into a self-created world in his head to escape. He'd thought he'd made it clear that Kazahaya should come to him whenever something bothered him, embarrassing or not. Sure, he might tease his boyfriend about it, depending on what it was, but that didn't mean he wouldn't help or explain if he could eventually.

Kazahaya trotted up next to him, huddled in a jacket and scarf, with thick pants, and he noticed that there was a very distinctive pink on the smaller boy's cheeks. He could see a faint smile that threatened to come out, but was too tentative to do so, as if he feared what Rikuou might say if he saw it.

Rikuou merely dropped his arm over Kazahaya's shoulders and gritted his teeth once again on the lecture that had been perched on his brain like an ugly vulture. Kazahaya was happy. Kazahaya was back. He didn't want to do anything that would force the other boy away from him and do that whole thing again.

"Rikuou?" Kazahaya asked questioningly as he led them without a word into the streets and their destination.

"What?"

"You seem mad about something. If you don't want to go…"

"I'm the one who asked you, why wouldn't I want to go?" he retorted and softened a little, leaning down to nuzzle an attractive ear and causing Kazahaya to blush brightly. "Besides, you look so small and cute when you're next to me." He teasingly licked along the edge of his boyfriend's ear, something he did without conscious thought.

"Rikuou!" Kazahaya snapped as his pink cheeks turned a dark rose color. "It's not my fault you're just a huge, big lug!"

Rikuou snickered and pulled Kazahaya even closer when his boyfriend tried to squirm away. "I bet you like that I'm big. After all, I can do this and you probably love it." To demonstrate what he was talking about, he picked up the boy in his arms, bridal style, and continued to head down the street despite the stares.

Kazahaya was screeching in embarrassment and it only made Rikuou's smile larger. In fact, he would have carried his little kitten all the way there if Kazahaya hadn't started thrashing violently. He wasn't interested in a black eye on their first real date, which was a definite possibility with Kazahaya's arms going around like windmills, so he finally set his boyfriend down.

After that, Kazahaya sulked all the way, but it didn't matter to Rikuou. He was having far too much fun and he knew Kazahaya would forgive him the moment that he saw their destination.

It wasn't so much an amusement park. Amusement parks generally meant rides and lots of families and people. This was more of a 'lover's festival', where the lighting was low and soft from lanterns on the edge of poles. Most stalls had many tests of compatibility for lovers and such, but it was the beauty of the surrounding area that he was interested in letting Kazahaya see.

And like he had predicted, Kazahaya's eyes became wide and the smile child-like in its brilliance as he took in the beauty of the nature and atmosphere. Probably the location specifically chosen for this reason, but there was even an abnormally long-lived sakura tree near the edge of the festival area. There was a faint breeze, enough so that the wind could carry loose, pink petals over the proceedings.

In other words, it was beautiful.

Rikuou suspected Kakei pulled some strings and had sent them to a 'special' festival, as it was too perfect. There were as many male and male couples as there were male and females, so they weren't given a second thought. Most wore traditional kimonos like a regular festival, but there were others like them that wore just comfortable clothing. When he glanced over his shoulder and it appeared as though many other people just passed the entrance to the festival by without a glance, it reaffirmed Rikuou's suspicions that this was a very 'special' festival that probably only welcomed certain kinds of people.

"It's beautiful," Kazahaya whispered and Rikuou couldn't help, seeing his face flushed in excitement, putting his arm around his boyfriend and pulling him close in a flash of love. He wanted to say Kazahaya looked far more beautiful, lit by the soft lighting, but couldn't make his throat utter the words. It was embarrassing.

Acting casual despite the question in Kazahaya's eyes, he led them around and watched as Kazahaya stared at everything he could. As he has suspected, Kazahaya hadn't been to one of these places before and was enjoying every moment. Rikuou enjoyed it himself more than he expected, mostly because his boyfriend did.

Perhaps it was the atmosphere, but Rikuou had almost forgotten entirely the irritation and frustration he'd felt before, not even paying attention to the fact that he didn't want to lecture his boyfriend anymore. As was customary on a date, he paid for Kazahaya for the food and drink they got and even enjoyed a quiet bit of time as they sat under the sakura tree.

Kazahaya looked disappointed when they left almost two hours later, when the festival had appeared to be coming to a close. He had noticed that Kazahaya was spooning against his side even as they walked and he could smell the shampoo and conditioner that Kazahaya had used on his hair very strongly.

His lips began to wander as they went up the stairs to their apartment and his mellow, loving mood was turning into something with a very carnal bent to it. Kazahaya had turned in his arms, wrapping his own around Rikuou's neck and dragging him close for a deep kiss. Obviously he was feeling it too.

Rikuou's hands fumbled with his key to unlock the door even while their lips never parted. When he felt the resistance of the door gone, he could only pick Kazahaya up in a fit of passion, his boyfriend wrapping his legs around his waist instantly, and stumble inside. Somehow, he managed to get the door kicked shut and he had carried Kazahaya to his own bedroom before he even realized what he was doing.

Their kisses were open-mouthed and hot, desperate for something more and deeper to satiate a growing lust. He pinned Kazahaya beneath his body on the bed and ground their hips together, hard just from kissing. For the first time, Rikuou heard what Kazahaya sounded like when he gave a mewling cry and it was enough to make him pant with desire. It was the cutest and most arousing sound he had ever heard.

He couldn't help that the longer they kissed, the more his hips moved of their own free will, the tighter he was clutching Kazahaya in his arms. He wanted to desperately hold on, make sure that Kazahaya wouldn't go anywhere without him.

And it was only that, remembering Kazahaya retreating in his own mind, that stopped him from shoving a hand down his boyfriend's pants and continuing to something very, very intimate. Desperately, he pulled his mouth away from Kazahaya's demanding and pleading kisses. He forced with all his willpower their bucking hips to stillness.

Kazahaya was staring up him, his golden eyes demanding to know why they were stopping. He took in those flushed features, especially the full lips, and would have thrown caution to the wind if he hadn't kept remembering involuntarily how Kazahaya had gone to sleep and hadn't woken up. How terrified he'd been that he'd lose a second person who meant the world to him, only this time it would have been his fault entirely.

"Kazahaya…" he began, shocked at how raw his voice sounded. "Kazahaya, please tell me right now. Should I stop, or can I continue?"

"Huh?" Kazahaya gasped, obviously still trying to get his breath back.

"Kazahaya, you idiot," he murmured, but there was only affection in his tone despite his great need. "This is sex. If you don't want it, you have to tell me _now._ Any further than this and I won't be able to stop, even if you desperately don't want it." It shamed him to know that he'd not be able to stop, not be able to control himself, but his passion for the beautiful creature below him was immeasurable. Once it got started, like rocks rolling down a hill, it would not stop until the end.

Kazahaya flushed bright red, especially when he finally noticed the fact that his legs were hugging Rikuou's hips tightly and their hardness was pressing tightly together through the thick material of their jeans.

"Tell me what I should do," Rikuou croaked out, licking his lips and waiting in the deafening silence for a definitive answer. 


	14. Chapter 13

"Tell me what I should do," Rikuou croaked out, licking his lips and waiting in the deafening silence for a definitive answer.

Kazahaya stared at him for what Rikuou felt was the longest time. Every time his boyfriend would shift in slight embarrassment, he had to grit his teeth and forcefully forget how that friction had felt so good for those brief few seconds. He had never wanted anyone more than he wanted Kazahaya. He tried to convince himself that he could let go, could back away, if Kazahaya wanted it, but he feared that he might not be able to if Kazahaya continued to look so sexy.

"…Okay," that faint whisper came and Rikuou's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You're sure?" he asked, a tad bit skeptically. Kazahaya had a terrible tendency to pretend he was ready for something and Rikuou really didn't want to push his boyfriend into doing something they'd both regret.

"…Yes." Kazahaya wasn't looking at him, apparently too embarrassed, and his voice was barely above a whisper. Adorably, his whole face became suffused with a blush the longer that Rikuou's eyes watched him appreciatively. Suddenly he was glad Kazahaya had said yes because wasn't going to let go when he looked so cute.

Rikuou didn't ask again and merely delved his tongue down into a waiting mouth. Even after all this time, Kazahaya was just a little clumsy in his kisses at the offset, but it only made him more endearing. He never tried to pretend to be something that he wasn't, just wanted to be accepted for who he was. Accepting those around him for who _they_ were and didn't pry. Kazahaya's tongue did a very cute little dance around his own and Rikuou stifled a desperate groan. His hips began to move again and forced little adorable mews from Kazahaya that echoed in Rikuou's mouth.

He wanted to treasure Kazahaya, to do it right. Rikuou had long ago realized that he was the type to want to keep what he liked all to himself and let no one see. He wanted to be the center of Kazahaya's whole world, so that he could think of nothing else but Rikuou every moment of the day. He wanted Kazahaya to feel the way he did. To feel that if Rikuou wasn't there, he wouldn't be able to breathe properly.

"Rikuou…" Kazahaya gasped when the bigger boy's lips left their very first hickey on a supple, pale neck. Hands clutched at Rikuou's jacket a little when the other boy breathed over the spot and almost tickled it with sensations. An unexplainable emotion was tinting Kazahaya's voice, but with instinct, Rikuou knew what that tone meant.

He knew what Kazahaya wanted, but wasn't going to give it to him just because. It went against Rikuou's nature to just give what Kazahaya wanted without enjoying a little fun first. His teasing mind had decided to give Kazahaya a minor punishment for running away, for scaring him like he had. Kazahaya had to _talk_ to him, had to _tell_ him what he wanted. "What?"

"Not e-enough. It's not enough."

"You want more?" he teased, holding Kazahaya's bucking hips still for a moment and slowly pressing his own against his boyfriend's in a flash of pressure, there and then gone.

A breathy, unhappy gasp was his only reply, but it wasn't enough for Rikuou. "You have to tell me what you want, Kazahaya, or I won't do anything," he muttered with a grin and finally, ever so slowly, began to peel off his boyfriend's jacket and scarf. He was taking his time because he wanted this moment to last. They'd been dating for the past few weeks and he had held himself back. Kazahaya had wanted time, so he'd given it. Now that he had this, he was going to enjoy every second worth of time that he had been waiting.

"Yes…Rikuou, it's not enough anymore!"

Instinctively, Kazahaya's hand had begun to slide down, to unbutton his pants, but in a flash, Rikuou had Kazahaya's hands pinned over the boy's head. A vaguely surprised and unnerved look flashed over his face, but Rikuou only left sweet and short kisses on those lips that just begged for more. A part of Rikuou quaked inwardly when he had seen that expression and he forcefully reminded himself to be careful. He could get creative later, after he had convinced Kazahaya tonight that he wasn't going to hurt him. "Don't do that, you'll ruin my fun."

"_Fun?!_" Kazahaya demanded and he was happy to just how lively his boyfriend's eyes became. "You're teasing me, you—"

What he was, he never found out, because while Kazahaya had been distracted, Rikuou had been busy. His other hand had slipped underneath the thin blue shirt his boyfriend had been wearing and he tweaked a sensitive nipple, which was a very effective deterrent for insults. The surprised look on Kazahaya's face had faded, to be replaced by an unfulfilled pleasure. He enjoyed the little gasps he was eliciting and teased Kazahaya more with movements of his lips that weren't quite kisses.

"Rikuou…" Kazahaya whined, somehow turning his name into something that almost sounded like a full sentence, dragging out the last syllables painfully long.

Perhaps it was cruel of him, he thought and finally shifted his hand to kneed Kazahaya between the legs through his pants. Automatically, they pushed up against the friction and there was a faintly satisfied grunt from somewhere above him as Rikuou began to leave kisses on the stomach he had partially exposed. He let Kazahaya's hands go and automatically they clutched at Rikuou's jacket, tugging it off the boy's shoulders and making his intent clear.

Rikuou sat up, shifting their tangled legs so that he could straddle the boy beneath him. Dazed amber gold eyes watched him as he began to shed his layers of clothes, tossing them with abandonment on the floor next to the bed. A little more sense began to creep in Kazahaya's eyes as he watched and he turned a brilliant red when Rikuou slowly pulled off his final shirt with a grin.

He leaned back down, bracing himself with straight arms on either side of Kazahaya's head. Kazahaya gulped a little and Rikuou did not miss how his boyfriend's eyes roved his strong torso. It was gratifying, in an egotistical way. He was indeed powerfully built, having spent a lot of time making sure he was so.

"Kazahaya, touch me," he suggested. He wanted participation, to feel like he was wanted too. To make sure that it was just shyness and not fear that was holding Kazahaya back. Gently, he shifted to grab the slimmer, paler fingers, and brought them up to his heated skin. He could feel the slight shaking, see the blush that was creeping up to Kazahaya's ears, but when he pulled his own hand away, the touch was still there.

Rikuou waited as Kazahaya gathered his courage to let his hands explore. How he could be such a loudmouth and yell at the top of his lungs at the slightest provocation, but became painfully shy when it came to such matters, was something of a mystery to him. The touch was so light it shivered through him. It didn't take long for a second hand to join in the investigation. Slowly he leaned down to claim another kiss, the hands pausing instantly, as if wondering if he was supposed to stop.

"Keep touching me," he murmured against the very soft lips he had intimately known over the past few weeks, feeling a fire rove over him with the gentle pressure. Kazahaya's tongue slipped out to meet his, their kisses slow and languid, and even more hesitantly his hands moved again, finally reaching the back of his powerful shoulders.

The courage in his boyfriend was escalating little by little. Before long, the feather-light pressure of his hands was more insistent, firmer and changing into caresses. Arms wrapped around his shoulders and Kazahaya took the initiative to change their slow, sweet kisses back to the open-mouthed and hotly passionate ones from before. Rikuou's arms latched around his boyfriend's slim waist and their hips became glued together once more.

"I'm hot, Rikuou," Kazahaya complained, wriggling in a delightful way beneath him as he tried to somehow get his shirt off without breaking the kiss or moving his arms. Rikuou couldn't help but chuckle, which earned him an unhappy stare, and pulled away until he was sitting up again. Almost instinctively, Kazahaya's eyes dropped to the hills and crevices of Rikuou's chest and his grin became smug.

"Like what you see?" he teased, hands pulling off Kazahaya's shirt and muffling whatever he was saying so that it was unintelligible. His eyes appreciatively stared at the slim, pale boy below him. "I do."

It caused Kazahaya to turn red yet again and Rikuou lost count how many times his boyfriend had blushed that night. The blue shirt was tossed somewhere out of Rikuou's line of sight and inwardly counted the only articles of clothing left to abolish were their pants.

Kazahaya's eyes shifted to stare at his arm and he glanced down. The moonlight illuminated him a little and no doubt his boyfriend could see the edge of the tattoos that marked his back. He had forgotten about them and about the fact that Kazahaya hadn't known he'd had them. A slim finger seemed to trail along the edge that he could see, and Rikuou shivered in so many sensations.

But now wasn't the time for questions or explanations, as he made abundantly clear by loosening Kazahaya's pants to slip his hand down. His fingers wormed past the layer of underwear and finally touched hot, wet skin. Kazahaya's eyes widened only seconds before a shocking, pleased gasp puffed up in the air. The hand that was on his shoulder began to shake a little and Kazahaya bit his luscious bottom lip to contain whatever it was that he didn't want Rikuou to hear.

Rikuou's mouth descended to tease a nipple, causing Kazahaya's hands to shift and bury themselves in his hair. The gasps were slowly exchanging for mewling cries and he writhed in a delectable way that had Rikuou wanting to toss away all his morals and just take him right there.

But no, he was going to do this right. He wanted to wipe away all of Kazahaya's fears and apprehensions about sex. Wanted to make it absolutely clear that under no circumstances was he ever allowed to just retreat away from Rikuou without telling him anything. He shifted his lips to the other nipple, a long and drawn out moan from Kazahaya telling him he wanted more.

His fingers slipped out of those tight jeans only long enough to pull them off, so that his boyfriend remained entirely naked underneath him. He couldn't help a moment of still inspection as he admired that supple body and thin, adorable waist. He was indeed like quicksilver made flesh and more beautiful than the moon. Apparently his appreciation was making Kazahaya embarrassed, since he muttered something Rikuou didn't quite catch.

"I can't admire my boyfriend?" he teased, hands running down anywhere they could touch bare skin now, which was quite a lot. "After all, I'm the only one who will ever see you like this."

He left sweet kisses down from Kazahaya's chest to his heaving stomach, watching with amusement and a flash of love and longing as the skin and breathing shuddered beneath his lips. When he left feather-light touches across the almost baby-soft skin, it obviously proved to be a sensitive spot when Kazahaya let out a faint, adorable cry. It made him smile, stretching the muscles of his mouth, and continued his downward progress.

"Never done this before," he murmured, a slight tinge of amusement in his voice as he watched when Kazahaya bemusedly propped himself up on his elbows to see what Rikuou was doing. Rikuou waited until comprehension began to dawn in Kazahaya's eyes and before he could be stopped, his tongue flashed out to lick on the underside of his boyfriend's arousal.

"Ri-Rikuou! Stop that!" His protests, something Rikuou consoled himself with the knowledge that they were only done out of embarrassment, soon faded away to little cries that sincerely did remind Rikuou of a cat.

It was a strange taste, but not unpleasant and the way it made Kazahaya flush and his whole body heat was definitely a plus. He was never one to not try new things, especially when it came to the one he loved. He wanted to give Kazahaya _reasons_ to want to stay, to not retreat into a safe but tediously boring world in his mind. He wanted to show Kazahaya that there was so much worth living for if he would just choose Rikuou above that mental safety net that did more harm than good, entangling him in a web of lies and self-doubt.

He finally took Kazahaya fully in his mouth, not quite expecting that when he did so, Kazahaya's hips would buck upward in a sharp movement that almost made Rikuou choke. Forcefully, he held the slim and adorable hips still, which only made the other boy whimper and mutter begging words that he was sure Kazahaya had no idea were coming out of his mouth.

Kazahaya's knees bent up and shifted wider, allowing Rikuou more access and his tongue danced along that length, often pausing to suckle on that leaking tip. He thought Kazahaya had never looked sexier. His own jeans were painfully tight and he figured that if they had been more used, the fabric older, they might have ripped by now. He wanted Kazahaya, wanted him so badly, but knew that he had to take his time. He couldn't rush things; he knew what rushing things did. And he desperately didn't want Kazahaya to suddenly say no, he didn't want to anymore, because Rikuou knew he wouldn't be able to stop now.

"Ri-Rikuou, stop. Stop now, I c-can't anymore…!"

Somehow, at some point where Rikuou hadn't been aware of it, the seer's hands had twined in his short, black hair and were tugging him away, trying to pull him away, but there was no real strength to it. He could feel the tremors that were going throughout Kazahaya's body, watching as his every breath went shuddering through his smaller frame.

But he didn't stop, only continued until Kazahaya couldn't hold it back any longer. The hot release of his boyfriend filled his mouth and he pulled away, swallowing it with a faint bit of curiosity. It didn't really taste like anything, but it wasn't bad. Years ago, he might have said just the thought of doing such an act would make him gag, but now, it meant nothing. Now, the only thing he cared about was that it was Kazahaya who was feeling pleasure and he was happy about that. For the first time in years, he could remember what it felt like to be happy just because someone you loved was happy.

"Y-You! Why did you…_swallow_…!"

He smirked at Kazahaya and kissed that sweet, sensitive stomach, hearing Kazahaya's breath hitch briefly at the sensation. "What about it?" he asked, feigning disinterest and distracting his boyfriend as his hands slipped under that slim waist and down, searching for that opening.

"That's…you…" Kazahaya seemed to find it difficult to figure out how to properly express his shock, and it only made Rikuou smile. This unassuming and naïve boy…it filled his heart with protectiveness and he slowly stretched out his body over top of Kazahaya's, lips assaulting that tense neck and leaving several more hickies behind.

"I wanted to," he murmured sweetly against the red ear right next to his lips, hot with the seer's blush. His explorations finally found it and, smiling, he slipped one finger inside. His lips had gently pressed against Kazahaya's, so it stifled the screech of pain and surprise.

"What the hell! That hurts, Rikuou!"

"I know," he replied, "but if I don't do this, it'll hurt more." He ignored Kazahaya's protests and enjoyed the heat that surrounded his finger. He whispered entreaties in his boyfriend's ear, asking him to relax and ever so slowly, he did. For a moment, Rikuou didn't think Kazahaya trusted him enough to do so, especially considering the latest events leading up to it, but was glad when there was a softening to his touch.

A second finger was added, causing Kazahaya to hiss, but by this time, Rikuou had found the prostate and had begun to gently massage it. Surprise flashed over those beautiful features, as if he hadn't quite believed that it could feel good. A smug grin touched the bigger boy's face and he deliberately pressed down harder again on that sweet spot, enjoying as Kazahaya flushed and let out a groan.

Arms slid around his broad shoulders, pulling him in close as Rikuou continued to stretch Kazahaya's entrance as painlessly as he could. His grin became a soft smile, hidden in the crook of Kazahaya's neck so that it couldn't it be seen. It was not that he begrudged his boyfriend the knowledge that he loved him, but that it was embarrassing to show the soft, gentle nature that was hidden deep inside of him and only came out at certain times. To act tender was embarrassing, so he hid it under his gruffness and teasing.

"Nngh…Rikuou…" Kazahaya's voice was full of discontent, even as he was trying to thrust down on his boyfriend's fingers. He added a third one for good measure, and his free hand fumbled around in the drawer next to his bed. Where was that oil that was in there? He'd found it stowed away in the back, a few days before he'd found Kazahaya in the snow so many months ago. At the time, he'd been nonplussed at what it was doing there, but now he knew and he figured it was a 'gift' from Saiga.

"It's not enough anymore, is it?" he murmured, teasing, and nipping the ear he whispered into. Biting his lip, Kazahaya shook his head frantically, his legs widening even more. It was intriguing, really. Kazahaya was so loud during the day and now, he seemed abnormally quiet. Maybe it was just because he was shy this first time. Maybe he would be loud the next time.

His hand closed around the cool bottle and he dragged it out of the drawer, not even bothering to close it in his haste. If it wasn't enough for Kazahaya, it was unbearable for Rikuou. It was painful for him, how much he wanted it, but tonight he was focusing solely on Kazahaya. To show him there was nothing to be afraid of.

He pulled away from the confining arms around his shoulders and Kazahaya stared at him unhappily. Loosening his pants was like a breath of fresh air, as his hardness was no longer confined. His control was slipping now. He couldn't wait any longer. He squirted a little of the lotion onto his hand and rubbed it on his arousal, containing a hiss by sheer force of will.

Kazahaya's eyes had averted to stare at the wall seconds after Rikuou loosened his pants and he'd gotten a glimpse of his boyfriend's naked need. Now even his neck was red with blush and Rikuou thought he'd never looked so cute. He nipped at an exposed tendon, another hickey forming and distracted Kazahaya as his hands gently guided those almost illegally long legs to rest on his shoulders.

"This is gonna hurt," he warned, not missing the faint apprehension in Kazahaya's eyes when he heard it. He would try to be as slow as possible, he thought as he gently pushed the tip of his head in despite Kazahaya's wince, but his control was not like it used to be.

If the heat had been wonderful on his fingers, it felt even more ecstatic on his length. He grunted when he was finally in, pausing to let Kazahaya get used to it. The eyes that looked up at him were dazed and partly pleading. His fingers twined with Kazahaya's, holding them tight as he pushed in the rest of the way, hearing the pants and cries excite him only further.

When he was fully nestled inside that warmth, his own gaze was a bit unfocused. He'd never, ever thought that Kazahaya could feel _so good_. The heat was almost searing and it was like submerging himself in an almost boiling hot bath after a very long, stressful day.

"Rikuou…"

"What?" he asked through slightly gritted teeth, slowly pulling out only to push back in, angling so that he could rub against Kazahaya's sweet spot, just to show his boyfriend what it would feel like. Kazahaya cried out and pushed downward, which once again tempted Rikuou's control at the pleasure.

"I love you. I love you so much."

Rikuou blinked at the whispered words, full of embarrassment, and watched as light tears crept from those closed lids. He couldn't help a smile and he leaned down to leave a searing but loving kiss on the lips he had marked over and over again before. "I love you too." He didn't say it often, but it held all the overwhelming meaning just the same. "I'm gonna move now."

Kazahaya's hands clutched onto Rikuou's arms as his thrusts became deeper and faster than the one time before. He could hear the bed creak under their movements, but it was soon drowned out by Kazahaya's heightening cries. Really, now Kazahaya was being as loud as he usually was during the day and he smirked to hear it. The slim legs slipped down to rest on the crooks of Rikuou's elbows and arms dragged him down to hold him tightly, not that the bigger boy minded.

Sweat was beading on his skin now, causing his jeans that he hadn't even taken the time to pull fully off, to stick to his legs. It seemed to pool lightly on Kazahaya's collar bone and stomach, shaking every time Kazahaya took in a shuddering breath amid Rikuou's pounding hips.

"Rikuou…oh god, Rikuou…!"

It was a very satisfying feeling to hear Kazahaya calling out his name, in something close to a scream, in pleasure, just like he had promised. Before they had begun dating, he had been content to hear it yelled in anger, tossed at his back with a vicious voice and tone. Now, he knew he preferred to hear it yelled in pleasure, hear his name dripping with the need for more, ever more.

Before he knew it, Kazahaya's name was soaking his lips just as firmly as their kisses did. He couldn't help muttering it so much that his vocal cords were going a bit raw from it all. Or was it that it was his love that was choking him doing that instead? Because he could only imagine that the reason this felt so damn good was because he loved Kazahaya, as flawed and annoying and naïve as he was sometimes.

Kazahaya's hand sought out Rikuou's again, twining their fingers together almost frantically. They clutched together so hard their knuckles were white and Rikuou gritted his teeth again as he felt the end coming closer faster than he liked.

He wasn't sure who came first, but when he could see only white for a few brief seconds, that was all that mattered. 


	15. Chapter 14

What woke Kazahaya from a very sound sleep was not the alarm, nor the pain in his back. It was the warmth that surrounded him, followed by the realization that he was being held tightly from behind. Disoriented as he was, and partly wondering just what had happened, he rifled through his memories. He remembered making love with Rikuou, a thought which made him blush, and then very little.

The arms around him tightened, but when he glanced over his shoulder at his boyfriend's still sleeping face, he guessed it was mostly involuntary. He smiled a little shyly, not even registering that the alarm clock read that they only had an hour before it was time to work.

_He was gasping for breath, feeling his release warm and sticky on his stomach, and dazed eyes looked up at the boy above him. His expression as he looked down at himself changed from pleasant daze, to bright red in realization as he figured out that warm and wet feeling filling him was Rikuou's climax. A gentle kiss was placed on his lips before his eyes closed into darkness…_

It took a minute before Kazahaya noticed that that was not his recollection that had just floated up in his dizzy mind. _It must have been Rikuou's, since, well…_ He gave a silent groan and lifted one of his hands to cover his closed eyes in embarrassed consternation. _Watching yourself from your boyfriend's perspective when you…'finish' is…awkward and so embarrassing…_

He decided right then that what he really wanted was a shower, so he squirmed out from the safe and encompassing embrace of the boy behind him somewhat reluctantly. His back was aching and he hunched over just slightly as he managed to get his weak legs out from the heat and comfortable feeling of the blankets.

An arm slid around his waist and jerked him right back down. "Where are you going?" asked a slightly grumpy and warm voice in his ear.

Kazahaya flushed bright red at his nakedness. "R-Rikuou, g-good morning."

"Relax, I cleaned us up last night while you fell asleep."

"Cleaned?" he asked in perplexity and craned his head around to look at his partner, who unhappily finally decided to crack open his eyes for the first time since he woke up.

"You don't know anything, do you?" Despite Kazahaya's outraged expression, Rikuou continued before he could say anything. "But that doesn't matter. I like you that way anyway."

Given how honest and how not-snarky Rikuou was being, Kazahaya concluded that he still must be half-asleep. A not-quite-smile touched the bigger boy's lips and arms wrapped more firmly around Kazahaya's waist, dragging him back a little under the sheets despite the smaller boy's awkward, half sitting position.

And then as if he were a pillow, Rikuou's head shifted to lie on his stomach as if it were the most natural thing in the whole world to do.

Kazahaya glanced at the alarm clock as he felt more than heard the sounds of Rikuou's sleeping breaths. Forty minutes before they had to be at the shop, but…He looked down at his boyfriend, who seemed so peaceful, and sighed. He didn't honestly have the heart to wake him up and besides, his back kinda hurt.

Normally he'd never miss out on a day of work, since work meant money and money meant surviving. He didn't ever want to be in the same position he'd ended up in when Rikuou and he had first met. That had been the single most painful part of his life, as he had lain there, wanting to survive and helpless to do so without aid. He didn't ever want to experience that feeling of helplessness ever again.

It was somewhat frightening of the degree that he'd come to rely on Rikuou. He'd never tell his boyfriend, but Kazahaya knew he was despicable. Rikuou always ranted at him that he was too trusting, but he'd never say that there was a tiny part of him that was indeed skeptical, but only of people that he should trust wholeheartedly.

Like Rikuou.

He depended on Rikuou for a lot, an awful lot, but some part of him was always skeptical, always hesitant. Always waiting for that held-out hand to be snatched away the moment he reached for it. In the months they'd known each other, every time he'd ever reached out, he'd been able to grasp it and be pulled out of the pit of trouble or despair he'd been thrust into.

But what if that hand were taken away? What if he reached out and it was no longer there? He wasn't too trusting. No, he was far worse. He trusted the wrong things. He distrusted, remained skeptical, of the people and things he should put everything in his life into believing in. He _feared_ that if he gave everything of his trust to Rikuou, that he would be betrayed.

He was a fool, a coward, and a liar. He knew this, but just as sure as he knew it, he also knew that he loved Rikuou. Loved him to the point of madness. It made him feel unclean, to love someone and not trust them fully.

Kazahaya ran his hands through the soft black strands of Rikuou's hair, who's sleep was entirely unaffected by the slimmer boy's dark thoughts. His eyes roved over Rikuou's upper torso, the strong muscles and sinew that he was secretly jealous of. Hints of black caught his eye amid the tanned skin and curiously, lightly and secretively since he wasn't sure if he was supposed to know, he lifted the sheet.

Tattoos. Flowing and intricate, as if they were trying to say something, but Kazahaya didn't understand it because he didn't have the 'key' to decipher it. He traced the thick, complicated design on Rikuou's shoulder with a gentle touch, hoping not to wake his boyfriend. The design went from one place to another, always touching even if it were slim and didn't seem to be any connection.

The ones on his back had a more distinctive shape and though he was looking at it upside down, in his mind's eye it was right side up. Something like…wings? And for all that he knew Rikuou to be gentle and loving, when he chose to be, his first impression was that of a demon's, not an angel's.

Perhaps he was wrong. He _hoped_ he was wrong. He instinctively knew that these marks probably had to do with Tsukiko, as almost everything of Rikuou's past did. In fact, Rikuou's entire being revolved around this phantom woman. Kazahaya couldn't help disliking her for the pain she was putting Rikuou through, knowingly or unknowingly.

And he was also faintly jealous. When Rikuou loved, he loved completely. When Rikuou loved, he loved forever. He overpowered and tied down and protected what he cared about until he could no longer breathe. Always, what he cared about was the center of his whole world and Kazahaya remained absurdly jealous that he was not that center, that thing in which Rikuou would do anything and everything for, would go to the ends of the earth and hell and back to protect and love.

Kazahaya pulled his fingers away from the tattoos and thought that no matter how selfish he was being, he _wanted_ to ask, to demand, that if Rikuou had a choice, who would he choose? It wasn't right, it was just terrible and low and _sickening_ to even think to have Rikuou make that choice.

But he wanted to say it even if he never would. He had made his choice. He had asked himself countless times lately who would he choose if he absolutely had to, Kei or Rikuou, and the choice had consistently come up as Rikuou. If he was willing to throw everything away for Rikuou, why couldn't Rikuou do that too?

"I'm the worst," he muttered, ignoring when the alarm next to the bed went off and each sound like a stab in his heart.

"Well, Kudou-kun, Rikuou, since you…_overslept_ and didn't come down to work until noon, I have a job for you to make up the hours you lost."

Kazahaya winced at the overly polite smile of his boss and knew that when Kakei smiled like that, it meant that he was in serious trouble. Saiga was peering at the two workers from over Kakei's shoulder at the till and his knowing smirk made Kazahaya blush and look away.

His back was feel a little better after he worked out the soreness and he wasn't sure if he should believe it or not, but he felt Rikuou's eyes on him more than usual. Given that Saiga had taken to nonstop teasing about what they had been doing to make them late, he wasn't sure that was a good thing or not. They really hadn't even done anything. He'd just let Rikuou sleep until the other boy chose to wake up and was even more surprised that his boyfriend didn't yell at him for letting him oversleep.

"I've sent the address to your cellphones. The building is being demolished today, so this is a job in which time is essential. You must get in and get out. On the upper floor, there is a rose made of glass and intricately carved. Get it before it's destroyed."

"How long before the building is demolished?"

"Hour and a half, so you two had best hurry."

Rikuou grabbed his arm and immediately began heading out the door and Kazahaya stumbled to catch up. He blinked at the harsh sunlight and knew they had to hurry across town to get to the building before the wrecking ball did. _Kakei-san must really be irritated if he's giving us a job like this._

"Hurry up or we won't make it in time," Rikuou groused, obviously in a bad mood when he'd heard the time limit.

"I am hurrying!" Kazahaya hotly protested and picked up his pace as best he could despite the still faint pain in his back.

His boyfriend raked him with an assessing eye and smirked, leaning in close to whisper, "You seem to be jogging well enough. Tonight I'll make sure you can't even walk at all."

He flushed bright red and smacked Rikuou's shoulder, ignoring the chuckle his boyfriend gave. "_Shut up_, you jerk! Don't talk like that!"

"Why not?"

Rikuou never got his answer because as they rounded the corner, the house in question came into view. It was more like a warehouse than anything else and he wondered what a pretty glass rose would be doing in there. His gaze snapped down to the pavement to see a few workers milling around, obviously waiting for the appointed time before they could destroy the building.

"We're going to have to sneak, so be careful. We can't get caught."

"I know that!" he hissed in a whisper as he followed Rikuou around the edges of the workers little 'camp'. Most were smoking and chatting and thankfully not paying attention to what was going on. Slipping in over the decaying wooden fence was nerve-wracking but didn't end in a capture, so Kazahaya dared to hope that this would be like any other of their jobs.

They couldn't go in the front door, as that would be like walking with a great big spotlight on them, so the back door was their only hope. It was locked, naturally, but with Rikuou's power destroying it, it wasn't really a big deal. No lock bothered him anymore when he had Rikuou with him. Made breaking and entering a whole lot easier.

"How much time to do we have left before it starts?" he gasped as they began running up the stairs that creaked in an alarming way when their weight hit the steps.

"About an hour I would say. Maybe a little less."

Damn his boyfriend, Rikuou didn't even seem to be out of breath as they reached the second floor. His eyes cast frantically about and spotted, unfortunately, another stairs that went up. Kakei had never specified which area it was in, only that it was on the 'upper floors'. Gripped with a sense of urgency that the time limit instilled in him, he turned quickly to his partner, who had begun their search already.

"You look on this floor, I'll look upstairs."

He ignored the protests from Rikuou and as quick as his name, his slim feet and light weight were already up the shorter flight of stairs that had been tucked away in the corner. This level was very small, almost like a tiny loft, and filled with boxes. He pulled off the tops of the crates with abandon, merely letting them crash onto the floor without caring. His mind kept counting down the minutes.

Kazahaya almost wrote off the third floor, having searched almost everywhere, when a sparkle caught his eye as the sun glinted off it from a boarded up window. He dove, picking up the glass rose and taking a spare few seconds to look it over. It was see-through like glass usually was, but the rose and leaves were tinted red and green respectively.

He'd already stood up and was putting the rose in his jacket pocket when it happened. He could hear the gunning of a huge engine and he rushed to peer down into the yard below from what cracks he could find of the window. Either his timing had been off or they were starting early.

The boy managed to make it to the stairs when the building shook and gave a terrifying groan. Then it was like the world exploded around him. What little remained of glass shattered and the walls began to collapse around him only from the first hit. His feet pounded down the stairs and he could hear Rikuou's yelling for him. The crewmen probably couldn't even hear them over the roaring of the wrecking ball's engine.

Beneath his feet, the stairs cracked and broke and Kazahaya tumbled through the air. He frantically clutched his precious job in his hand as he tried to grab hold onto anything that would stop his downward progress.

His pained back slammed into the second floor, causing him to lose control of the rose. It tumbled away, just like him, through a hole that had opened up because of the demolition. However, it did stop his fall long enough for something to grab onto.

Rikuou's outstretched hand.

He glanced around, spotting the rose on a little remaining ledge just below and to the right of him and he hurriedly reached out for it. By some miracle, it wasn't broken. He could almost reach it…if his arm were just a little longer!

"Kazahaya, give me your other hand!"

"I've almost got it," he yelled over the roar of the collapsing building.

"Kazahaya, give me your other hand _now_!"

"Swing me over a little and I'll have it!"

"Kazahaya, _NO!_"

Kazahaya finally looked up to meet the fierce stare of his boyfriend, who appeared also a tad frantic. "I've almost got it!" he pleaded. "We can't go back like this!"

"Yes we can!" Rikuou yelled and gestured with his free hand commandingly. "We can go back just like this! I'd rather have your life than some stupid rose! If Kakei doesn't like that, he can take it out on me! If you die, there's nothing I can do! Kazahaya, don't go where I can't follow, do you hear me?!"

It was like a vacuum had taken all sounds except for Rikuou's voice. His screaming over the roar of the engine was the only thing Kazahaya could hear as he stared up into green eyes wild with determination. He could see the pieces of the building falling around him, could recognize the danger only peripherally, but he could not tear his eyes away from that gaze.

It was almost like he was the center of Rikuou's world.

Slowly his arm moved away from where the glass rose was and up to Rikuou's waiting hand. When their palms slapped together and he felt the heavy pull upwards, he knew with certainty that that hand would never go away. It wouldn't be yanked back at the last second when Kazahaya reached out.

And suddenly whether he was the center of Rikuou's world didn't matter anymore. So long as Rikuou loved him in return, nothing else mattered. Tsukiko could have Rikuou's past.

Kazahaya would get his future instead, which was a much better thing in his opinion.

Rikuou tossed him over his shoulder and sprinted downwards and for the first time, Kazahaya really noticed the pain in his back and hips from when he'd slammed into the floor as he'd fallen down. He gritted his teeth, but trusted Rikuou to get him out safely. Whenever it seemed like a hurtling piece of the building would hurt either of them, they exploded into tiny, harmless pieces before they could hit.

_Yeah,_ he thought as Rikuou banged out the back door and leapt over the rotting wooden fence before they could be seen. _I don't need to be his everything. I just want him to love me. That's all I need to keep going on._


	16. Chapter 15

Kazahaya sleepily took in the sensations of Rikuou's hands wandering over his back. He glanced over his shoulder curiously and yawned, just a bit tired after their strenuous night again. And like usual, Rikuou had taken care of him, cleaned him up. He'd learned after the second time they'd made love what 'cleaned up' meant. It was slightly embarrassing watching as Rikuou ran a cloth over him to wipe up the sweat and…other things.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at your scars. I wish they weren't there."

It was the first honest response Rikuou had every given him that didn't have some sort of snipe after it. He didn't think Rikuou would ever forgive him for what he did, but at least he could talk about it without going into fits of anger. "I was just—"

"I know," Rikuou cut him off. "But that doesn't mean I have to like it. Such beautiful skin…" Kazahaya shivered when his boyfriend slowly licked one of his scars and he bit his lip. He was afraid he might be getting too used to this. In the past two weeks, he very rarely spent any time in his own bed. Whether it was for making love or not, Rikuou seemed to like him with grabbing reach.

As if he would go away.

It reminded him of Kei's words and he squirmed around to lie on his back, causing Rikuou to raise his eyebrow in curiosity. He looked up at his boyfriend looming over him with a serious look on his face, wishing he could say something, anything, to make what he'd done better. Perhaps his scars would end up forever being a reminder of Tsukiko to Rikuou. It was the one action he'd ever taken that he regretted the most in his entire life, even if it could have possibly led to their current relationship.

"Rikuou, are you afraid I'll go away?"

Rikuou tilted his head. "No."

"Why?"

"Because I'll always drag you back, whether you want to or not. You belong to me." At one point, the possessive and confident statement would have angered him, but for this one moment, it comforted him. He had always been reassuring Kei, as she had thought he would go away, and she had obviously had little faith in him. It bothered him that he had done as she feared, but it didn't change the fact that she didn't trust him. Whether or not Rikuou trusted him, he didn't know, but he did know that confidence reassured him that even if he did, Rikuou wasn't the kind of person to just accept that sort of thing and would get him back.

"What's with you tonight?" Rikuou asked, hands sliding underneath Kazahaya's legs, but the feeling was more comforting and just a languid thing, rather than telling him that Rikuou wanted to go for a third round. "You're being clingier than usual."

"I'm _not_ clingy!" he shot back.

"Oh really?" Rikuou smirked and licked Kazahaya's lips teasingly, pulling away when Kazahaya was going to respond. "Says the boy who was clutching at me like it was for dear life a few minutes ago."

He flushed. "Jerk! You can't always use sex as a way to win the arguments!" He tried to ignore the lovely nipping along his neck and the soft pressure on his legs and hips. Safety was what this bigger boy promised him. Safety and love and he shivered in happiness. These arms were for him alone and Kazahaya was willing to fight for them. They were the one place besides at Kei's side that he ever felt truly and completely and utterly comfortable.

"Whatever you say," Rikuou retorted with amusement and held him close, their heat melding into one being. The seer could feel his boyfriend press into an intimate closeness with their bodies, but it had nothing to do with growing sexual pleasure. It felt reassuring and loving, as if Rikuou were trying to tell him that the only place he belonged was right there.

That itself filled him then with a wanting, an emotional wanting that he couldn't put into words. The only way he could get close enough to that thing he wanted was physical intimacy, the closest two people could ever come to being one person. Arms wrapped around the tattooed shoulders and buried his face in his shoulder, whispering, "Rikuou…I want you."

Rikuou blinked and looked down at him. "It's rare of you to ask." A smirk, one that Kazahaya had realized was for him alone, touched his face. He'd never seen Rikuou smirk at anyone other than him and he had noticed over the past few weeks that he saw a side that no one ever did. Rikuou treated him differently than everyone else and that told him that he was loved. "But since you're so willing, why don't we try something different tonight."

Before Kazahaya could ask what that was, Rikuou rolled him over until Kazahaya was straddling him and what Rikuou was asking sunk in. Despite his protests, the seer found his back arching back in the sheer pleasure. He couldn't imagine now ever leaving this apartment. Rikuou had inserted himself into his life so fantastically, larger than life, that he couldn't imagine what it would be like to turn around and not see him.

This, he figured, had to be love.

---

"Answer me one thing, Kakei."

"What's that, Saiga?"

"When you sent Rikuou out to pick up the kid, did you know everything that was going to happen?"

Kakei looked up from his book and glanced at Saiga who adorned his bed, reclining like a huge mountain lion. "Everything? What do you mean?"

Saiga waved his hand to indicate something that even Kakei, who could see the future, had no idea what it meant. "Everything. Them dating, falling in love, the whole emotional roller coaster."

The storeowner looked thoughtful. "If you want to know the truth, I know a lot less than people think. My power gives me feelings about what things might happen, not many details. I had a feeling they would become very important to each other. I didn't know they would become romantically involved, though I suppose I should have suspected it. I had _hoped_ that they would heal each other emotionally. It was just the hopes of an old man that these kids would become real people again."

"You're not an old man," Saiga commented and reached out to drag Kakei by the shirt to sit on the bed. "And I'd say your hopes came true, don't you think?"

"For once in my life," Kakei confessed, "I feel happy that for once, something good happened from my meddling. It makes this thankless job bearable."

"Think you can leave the drugstore in their hands?"

He smiled. "In time, yes. But for now, for a while longer, we'll stay here and keep the responsibility. Let's let them be the children they never had the chance of being."

** End **


End file.
